Alright, I'll try this again. I already asked this in another subreddit, but... Let's say, people there didn't exactly read what I wrote- even if I'm partially to blame because I didn't write everything- still, English isn't my first language. Anyways, I'll try again.

I (17F) was having dinner with my family. At some point, I got up to go take some fruit, and I could hear my mother muttering something about me. I got back in the kitchen, and I jokingly said "were you talking bad about me?" Kind of hoping we would laugh it off and go on with dinner. That's not what happened. My mother started complaining, saying she was simply saying things I already knew (for example, I'm very messy, but with the issues I had and still have with my mental health, keeping tidy and regularly taking care of myself is truly an impossible task. It's not something I do because I'm simply lazy, but because I'm struggling- and everyone knew it.) Anyways, I didn't like the idea of people talking behind my back like some highschool bullies even at home, so I simply asked 'can you stop talking behind my back? Just say the things in front of me.' Did I want to start a fight? No! I was simply saying my boundaries outloud- something I never manage to do. The whole table got upset. My mother kept smiling with a condescending tone as she told me that 'it never happens' and that 'its not a big deal, you just want to argue.' My father kept on glaring at me and my sister started laughing in my face (mind you, I'm still in therapy and this is not good for anybody struggling) and at some point my sister said "well, if she wants us to stop she just has to clean her room." Like it was that easy! Tidying my room is such an overwhelming thing I physically can't do it. I don't like the messy space, at all, but I can't help it! Wanna know the best part? She has a degree in psychology. Like, she studied disorders, and struggles- she should know something, anything! But when I tell her I struggle she just says 'LOL clean your room already' like I haven't suffered for years! I'm close to being okay fully, but this isn't helping- it's making me take steps back! At some point I got really angry and said something like 'you tipped me off' something far from vulgar or bad- and my father just started yelling in my face. Anyways, after my mother kept on smiling and basically denying everything I said I started crying (a normal reaction to the situation since when I started to struggle years ago) and left to my room. Guess what? My mother started talking behind my back again. My father wants me to apologize, but I truly don't know what to say. Sorry for wanting boundaries? Sorry for wanting to feel heard and loved at home? Sorry if I'm tired of this blatant bullying?

Anyways, I don't understand what my mother is doing, denying and just smiling the situation away, not what should I say. And after all, AITAH?

PS please read what I wrote. If you plan on replying something like 'just clean your room and respect your parents' get out. Respect should be reciprocated. Talking behind my back like a bully is not respect.

PSS I don't except my parents to be happy about how messy I am, but this isn't the way to tackle the issue. Not to mention that everything I do (good grades, to even sewing a skirt by hand) is met with a simple 'okay' or even a 'you only did half your job' while my sister gets crazy compliments just for making an outfit.

PSS please don't be hurtful, I'm still a struggling teen and even if I know this is the internet, I can still ask for a bit of empathy.