So many things have happened between my husband and I and his parents. We've been married for three years.

In the past my MIL has invited me to wedding dress shop, then proceeded to make fun of my weight and say that it was much easier finding a dress for her 00 size sister. She's made racist comments about people from other countries (I come from one of those countries). She's screamed at me in the street after telling her I'd go on a walk because two of my husband's siblings were leaving me outside a conversation (as per usual). Both MIL and FIL have also justified their adult children (multiple times) for saying racist stuff at the table dinner (targeted at me and my husband), such as "at least we are keeping the family pure, unlike..."

It took a whole year of aggressions and micro aggressions for my husband to say something to his family. When he did, his parents basically said "none of them actually meant what they said," and that they were "sorry you feel that way." So not really an apology. We took some time apart from them, but they wouldn't stop texting, calling or emailing us. Two months later we talked and they promised to do better. But they never did.

Fast forward two years later, one of my BILs and his wife have apologized for their previous behavior, and he and his wife have actually made amends with us.

The other BIL and his wife have never taken accountability for the things that they've said or done to us. They also just happen to support racist initiatives, they're anti-immigrants, and the list goes on and on. My husband used to live with this brother of his. I have literally had to clean his moldy dishes and stuff, help my MIL when he and his wife would come visit, eat, leave a mess and then leave without helping with anything. In fact, all of my husband's siblings treat me like a maid when we visit my in-laws, because they know I like to help my MIL and they just love to sit down and be served.

And nonetheless even my MIL can be so crappy to me.

Fast forward to the present. We decided to go no-contact with the last BIL and SIL I mentioned. My husband and I believe there's not a single good thing they bring to our lives. They're like parasites. They love to take and never give back.

My husband let his brother about our decision to go no-contact with him and his wife and a brief paragraph explaining why. My BIL has kept messaging and harassing my husband demanding we go back to talk to him and his wife.

We also communicated our decision to go no-contact with these people to my in-laws in January. My MIL pretended to not have heard a word of what me and my husband said to her and my FIL. And 10 min later she came to us to talk non-stop about the crappy BIL and SIL.

We had kind of ignored my in-laws until a couple weeks ago. MIL messaged us saying she knew my graduation would be on X day and time. I had been thinking about whether I want them at my graduation or not, but she invited herself.

My husband and I left the family group chat, in order to avoid having contact with the crappy BIL and SIL and any news pertaining to them. My MIL and FIL messaged me and my husband asking if it had been a mistake. We told them it wasn't and that our decision to leave the group was in line with our previous decision to go no-contact with the crappy BIL and SIL.

FIL proceeded to send a message saying that he and MIL actually didn't approve of me and my husband's decision of going no-contact with his other son and said son's wife. And finished saying he and my MIL are hoping "we reconsider our decision" because they believe "it's a regrettable one."

Nonetheless, whenever anyone in his family have hurt me or my husband, he's just stayed quiet and allow their aggressions to go on.

We never asked for their opinion, we just communicated our decision and expected them to respect it. After all we're all adults.

FIL also said that if we "don't come to family events because of this situation, then that would be regrettable as well."

We never said we didn't want to attend any family gatherings/events. We just said we didn't want contact with the BIL and SIL who have hurt us and just go around acting like it's normal. So, my husband clarified to his father what we meant. We also suggested it would be possible to take turns for which couple attends family events. We could go to one family gathering, and the other two could go to the next one. And so on.

Today, my MIL texted us with an open invitation to the next family event. My husband asked her who would be there. She said she didn't know. My husband told his mother we needed clarity on who would come, because as we had expressed before, we will not expose ourselves to being around his crappy brother and SIL. And we also reminded her of our previous conversation in which we proposed taking turns to attend family functions.

My MIL completely disregarded the reminder about the previous conversation and responded she was going to wait to hear back from her other two, and then my husband and I could decide to attend or not.

My husband messaged her again, asking if it would be possible to take turns, and for her to ask her other son to stay this one event out, so that we can go, since they have been to the past 2 and we haven't.

MIL did not respond, but FIL responded on her behalf.

His message basically said: "we are still hoping you reconsider your decision, and we don't approve of it. We also don't think it's fair for anyone to take turns because that would leave out crappy BIL and SIL from some things. Maybe MIL and I can find some time to spend with you apart some time."

So, they don't give a flying crap about me and my husband being respected. They also don't care if we are part of their family or not, because they're willing to put the other BIL and his wife's needs over ours.

My husband and I are so done with my in-laws. Over and over again they've demonstrated how little they care about us, our feelings, our needs.

We've sacrificed ourselves so much in the past, let things slip under the rug because of my MIL and FILs request, and our mental health has taken a toll.

We are seriously considering staying away from my MIL and FIL going forward, but we don't know how to say it to them. We also want to make it clear that they are not invited to my graduation (which they self-invited themselves to), because we want to be surrounded by people who have constantly showed us love, respect, and who respect our boundaries (my family, our friends, etc).

Any advice on how to move forward is welcome. Have any of you cut ties with your in-laws for good?