It is a long story but we have been dating for a year and a half and living together for about little under a year, I am a 22F and they are 20NB and have a history of physical violence and self harm. They are extremely verbally abusive and I live with them. I really want to leave and have been trying to over and over again but somehow they always convince me to stay. I have been considering taking all of my important things from our apartment and leaving while they are at work. I feel bad because they know our relationship has been having problems but I don't think they would expect me to leave like that and they would want some sort of verbal or physical confrontation and I feel like it would be disrespectful and immature to leave without saying anything until afterwards. But I am genuinely scared of something happening to me or just being absolutely broken down with insults if I try to leave, and I am also worried they would try to hurt me or break/damage my things. My family is willing to help, my brother is in the military and fairly strong and has offered to help me bring things out but I don't want too much of a commotion. I also an worried they will come to my parents house and try to be violent if I leave without saying anything. I guess what I really need help deciding is if I would be in the wrong for leaving without saying anything, or just leaving a note or only talking to them over the phone about it. There's a lot that I havent opened up to them about how I feel out of fear and knowing they wouldnt ever change so I feel morally bad about just leaving without continuing to try and fix things. I tried posting in relationshipadvice but they said my account was too new, its a throwaway since I'm concerned for my safety. I really just want to be free and safe again, but would I be the asshole for leaving them like that?