So context: I’d like to start off by saying I love my mom. I (16F) have been struggling with extreme agoraphobia, depression, (and more recently we found out autism) for as long as I remember… she’s a single parent and has been the one to support me through all of this. However a conflict of interest - my mom loves traveling, while I obviously don’t. I get anxious staying in hotels, exhausted visiting family, and even just leaving my room to eat has been a struggle. But traveling is something that makes my mom happy, so I’ve been trying to put up with it even though most of the time I just wind up staying in a hotel or in a room by myself. Recently I’ve heard in passing my mom making plans for a trip to Europe over the summer, as well as to New Orleans for a wedding and planning birthday party for my grandma.

Yesterday she came upstairs and said that we were going to need to get me a long sleeved shirt for the party birthday party bc I have a ton of scars on my arms… I said that I would just stay in the room bc last i’d heard my grandma hadn’t wanted to go out to eat, but she said that the party was going to be at a restaurant instead and that I had to go. Then she started talking about the trip to New Orleans, and I said that I would rather just stay with my dad, who I don’t have the best relationship with… she said that she didn’t want to leave me alone with him but I said again that I really didn’t want to go. She asked me if I expected her to just not go anywhere anymore and I said that she’d had 58 years of freedom to do what she wanted, and that now she has a daughter who struggles with traveling and that I didnt know why she still acts surprised when I start to panic every time we have to go somewhere.

I think it’s also worth it to note that I struggle to the point where I have two exposure therapists to deal with it, but I’ve still gone with her to a major city at least 5 times this year, and drove 6 hours to my grandmas house at least 12. I know what I said was maybe harsh, but I feel a bit hopeless when she tosses aside my efforts like this… especially when she approached it with more concern about how I’d look to others then how I’d have to cope with, again, being far out of my comfort zone. It usually takes me a while to reflect and realize when I’m in the wrong about something, so here I am asking Reddit instead. AITAH?

Another important note: about 80% of the time I wind up going on these trips with her… I still think I’m the asshole and sent her an apology text, but i think one of the biggest reasons I got upset is bc she still acts as though i have a choice in going and don’t wind up going with her anyways almost all the time.