Are these red flags? I (F30) have been in a relationship with my gf (F35) for the last 4 months. I think everything was fine up until very recently when my partner made strange comments. It began with her saying that she finds it “weird” that I spend so much time with my siblings (for context, me and my siblings do not have a relationship with my parents, and have been through so much that only we can understand each other and we enjoy spending quality time together when we can). When she said that I kind of brushed it off saying it’s just I have a different family dynamic and she might find it weird but it’s my normal.

The next comment was when we move in together whether I am going to be spending 3 nights away from her. I kinda thought well I am not sure because I’ll be living in the house I am buying and not sure how it’ll all pan out. Further comments were made about my social media platform I have a huge following and a whole manager who does rely on me to make money so I have to be on my phone a lot and make content. When I’m with her I avoid using my phone much to pay attention and spend quality time together but she recently made a comment that she thinks I’m always on my phone which I know I’m not.

The one thing she said which I shut down straightaway was we were having conversations about going on holiday and I stated that I wanna go solo travelling as I have done it before and it’s something I enjoy and want to do whether I’m single or in a relationship she proceeded to say that she finds it “weird” I said I don’t agree with the comment and it’s something I want to do so I’m gonna do it regardless. The other day we went to a coffee place I have worked with and have a professional relationship I messaged the guy who works there that I’m gonna pop in and perhaps try the new drinks. She had a whole bf about how I’m pretty and he probably likes it and that she’ll pay for it. I didn’t enjoy the whole trip because she made it miserable. It feels like I’m being accused of things I don’t even know about. I’m not sure there is much to salvage though we have had amazing memories but I think it’s something that’ll probably be the cause of a bigger issue in the future.

Plus she texts me all the time but I can’t respond on time because I’m either busy working, spending time with my friends or family. Even when I have clarified that I’m spending a day with friends/family she texts me and calls me which I find so annoying like have some consideration, she gets upset when I don’t respond on time and it feels like she accuses me of things.

I think I’m brushing it off because it is another woman but I genuinely haven’t taken a single comment like this from a man (I’m bi) I’d be out straightaway but the dynamic with a woman is so different and I think I’m ignoring the red flags.