To give some backstory, my girlfriend and I and our two kids, her son 7 my daughter 12 moved in together 4 years ago. We had 2 cats, my daughter was allergic to and was a constant issue. I have 50/50 custody and she never could acclimate to the cats as she is with me every other week. After 2 years living together at that house we ran into financial hardship and had to move out.

We both moved into different friends basements until we could get back on our feet. Her with her son and myself with my daughter. So we have been living apart but seeing each other every day for the past year.

I am now at the point where the house I'm at is selling and I have 45 days to move out and I'm not on my feet yet. When I discussed this with her we talked about me moving in with her but there is no extra space for my daughter, no extra room in a already cramped basement. We would have to make our room in the living room so my daughter could have a room as she is almost a teenager.

After talking she became upset because my approach was that it wouldn't be a good idea. 1 for the lack of space 2 my daughter's allergies, her two cats and her roommates upstairs have three dogs. My feeling is that this would put alot of stress on my daughter. 3 she is upset that we're only moving in out of my nessicity and not because I want to 4 she thinks allergies are not a big deal and can take meds every day for it

I want to move into an apartment with my daughter because of the 5 pets and complete lack of space. I don't want to subject my daughter to that because I see every time she is there for a long period of time the effect it has on her. Our relationship has become strained because of the situation moving out and we are not currently at a very good place relationship wise but we're trying to work through it.

So, am I the asshole for not wanting to move in together? Who is placed as more important in this situation, my girlfriend or my kid? My thought is my daughter first always.