A little bit of context: I'm a 21-year-old female, and I have a boyfriend (20M) who I’ve known for about three years, though we’ve only been dating for one year. There’s this girl—also 21F—who we’ll call Sarah. I’ve known her for about six months. She has a group of female friends I’ve known for even less time, maybe one to two months. We’re all part of a sports group. The only females in the group are me, Sarah, and maybe one other girl. The rest of the group is made up of about 10–15 guys, including my boyfriend. This is kind of important.

Now, Sarah has had an issue with one of the guys in the sports group—let’s call him Jeff. They hooked up, but Jeff had different intentions than she did, and it didn’t end well.

About two months ago, Sarah, her female friends, and I went out for a girls’ day and dinner. The day went really well—it was fun, and we had agreed on a rule of “only one hour of boy talk.” Keep that in mind.

When we got to dinner, Sarah said, “OMG, let’s use our one hour of boy talk now!” I figured it would be the usual—talk about hookups, exes, crushes, etc. But no. What it turned into was Sarah ranting about the Jeff situation. Fair enough, but we’ve already heard about this like 20 million times. Then she said that any of the guys in our sports group who are still friends with Jeff, or who consider themselves ‘neutral’ and haven’t fully taken her side, are womanisers and hate women. She even went as far as saying they’d be better off… unaliving themselves because they’re men. And yes, she specifically said, “including your boyfriend,” to me during this rant.

I thought this was an absolutely absurd thing to say, especially since Sarah actually holds a position on the sports group committee. All the other girls were hyping her up, saying things like, “OMG yes, all men suck,” and “we hate men.”

I didn’t say anything for about 30–45 minutes because I didn’t want to ruin the vibe of the day, but I do regret not speaking up right away.

Sarah is known for blurting out extreme opinions and often doesn’t know where to draw the line between banter and belief. It’s not the first time she’s said negative things about men, but this was by far the worst.

I stepped outside during dinner and called my boyfriend to tell him what happened. He was understandably upset, as he had considered Sarah a friend.

A few days later, at our sports committee meeting, Sarah and Jeff weren’t there, so I told the rest of the group what Sarah had said. I felt they deserved to know, especially since many of them considered her a friend and she holds a big role in the committee.

Here’s where it gets more complicated. Another guy from our group—let’s call him Chris—heard from a separate situation that Sarah had once again thrown these guys under the bus and specifically called him a womaniser (not sure of the full details, but that was the gist). Chris then confronted Sarah and used what I had shared at the meeting as part of his reasoning. Fair enough—I'm glad he backed himself up with evidence, and I’m not mad at him at all.

At first, Sarah denied everything, saying I was being dramatic and had twisted her words. But then she went out of her way to apologise to several people in the group, except my boyfriend. To this day, she still hasn’t apologised to him.

The only reason I even found out about all this is because I was removed from the girls' group chat, and both my boyfriend and I were blocked by Sarah. She’s now completely ignoring both of us and even had one of her friends send me a string of... less than lovely messages.

My boyfriend reached out to some of the other guys—Chris and Jeff included—and they’ve either chosen to stay neutral (which is fair) or have said they agree with my actions and think I did the right thing. The general consensus is that Sarah overreacted and took things way too far.