This isn’t the spiciest of stories but it’s long and a doozy. For preface, I 29(F) have gotten to the point where I no longer care or want to have a relationship with my grandma because of what’s happened since my grandfather (grandma’s husband) died.

Before my grandpa died, my grandma was sharp as a tack and was the best grandma ever. Ever since my grandpa died, her behavior and the way she treats my family and I are horrible.

The day my grandpa died back in September of 2022; my grandma claims no one told her he was dying. He had COVID and hadn’t eaten in over 3 weeks. He was frail, coughing up blood and couldn’t speak or open his eyes. The next day hospice was supposed to come and evaluate him for hospice. But he passed. When my dad and uncle took my grandma home the first thing she said was, “that bastard died and left me alone!” We understood her grief. And let her grieve.

Fast forward to my grandpa’s funeral, it was her 84th birthday. We told her we didn’t have to have it that day. But she insisted because she wanted to wrongly brag, I guess I could say, that “that bastard always wanted to ruin any day I’ve ever had.” Once again we understood she was grieving her husband of over 50 years.

Fast forward to Christmas that year, my son got an envelope of money for Christmas. Thinking it was from grandma because she always gets the small kids money for Christmas. My son went to tell her thank you. And she said, “it wasn’t me. The bastard who used to give the kids money is DEAD NOW!” With emphasis and anger with the dead now. Myself and my few cousins who heard were like 😬😳. But we let it go.

Over the last couple years she hasn’t been that bad. But, recently in the last 6 months it’s been really bad. She’s had some falls and has had some memory issues. She’s been mean and has told people how much her family “hates her”. Which isn’t true. But, she has become good friends with a group of people, who are the owners and workers, of this small restaurant and tells them practically everything in her life. (These people will be brought up shortly).

About 4 months ago, I was on my way to pick my son up from school and my dad asked me to stop at her house. (She lives alone in a condo). He hadn’t heard from her all day and by that point it was about 3 pm. So I went to her house and knocked on the door and no one answered. Door was unlocked. I walked in and called for her but she wasn’t answering. I checked to see if her car was there and it was. So I headed upstairs and I called for her and she talked back to me and said she was just napping. I didn’t physically see her but she knew who I was and answered me like she was fine. So I left. About 3 hours later, those people from the restaurant showed at her house because she usually stops at that restaurant daily for lunch. They ended up having to call 911. She was burning up and confused.

I then started to cry and blame myself because I should have physically went to see and her and make sure she was okay. I fully took the blame and was so upset with myself. So my dad and I met the ambulance at the hospital and I spent the next few hours with her. She was very confused. So they kept her and when I came back the next morning around 4 am (I work at the hospital she was in). I was told by her nurse that she had Flu A and a UTI. Later that day I went to the restaurant to personally thank the group of ladies who went to check on her. They treated me like absolute crap and berated me for not seeing her physically in person. I already felt like a shit person. And that made it worse.

I went and visited her 4-5 times a day at the hospital while she was there. While I was literally in the process of moving as well. I went at 4 am, 9 am, 1 pm and then 5 pm most of those days. None of my other family members did except me. Fast forward to the Saturday I was moving she got discharged from the hospital and my grandmas brother brought her home. I happened to show up when he was dropping her off, to drop off purse and house keys because we didn’t want them left at the hospital while she was confused and whatnot. I helped her inside. Got her situated with something to eat and drink and had to go back to my new house to start getting myself settled. The very next day I even went back to her house to help her shower.

Fast forward to about a week later and I get a phone call from her at about 10 pm that she fell and couldn’t get herself up. (She refused to use her cane or walker to get around.) My boyfriend and I practically flew to her house in less than 5 minutes. She had a black eye. Her glasses broken. And she didn’t want me to call the squad or anything. So I cleaned her bleeding eye and it didn’t look like she needed stitches so I just cleaned up the wound, put some antibiotic cream on it and she told me to go. I went back to check on her the next morning and she was fine. She was up using her walker and getting around. So everything was practically fine for a little while.

About a month and a half ago, she came to my dad and step mom crying about how she can’t get into her cell phone. Jitterbug practically said they couldn’t help because she put a password on it and she couldn’t remember it. So my parents got her a phone on their plan. So she didn’t have a phone at that point. So I went and got her a home phone and got it on her internet plan. I went to Walmart 15 Minutes away twice to get her all set up. Everything was peachy. That following Saturday her cell phone came and I got that set up for her as well and took it to her. So now she had a working cell phone and a working home phone. Two days later she doesn’t understand how to work her cell phone. She’s 86. I understand technology can be hard especially when it’s a smart phone. So I did my very very best to explain it in the easiest terms for her. But it didn’t matter. She’s still been confused. So she just mostly uses the home phone. Then her home phone was messing up. So while I was out with my best friend she came with me to get my grandmas phone situated. My grandma loves my best friend.

While I was getting my grandmas home phone situated and she didn’t think I was listening to her and my best friends conversation. My grandma said to my best friend that the day she fell and I had to come pick her up off the floor that I was “drunk”. I was not drunk. I piped up and told her I was not drunk. And she whispered to my best friend that “she doesn’t have to lie. I could tell,” I let it go. Whatever. In that same conversation she started talking mad shit about my grandpa to my friend. Saying he was so mean to her and a lot of other things. I never saw these things in person but behind closed doors I don’t know.

Fast forward to about a week later. I walk into my house and my parents (who live with me) were arguing. But as soon as they saw me my stepmom said to “drop it” about the conversation they were having. I asked them what was going on and my dad told me that he was on the phone with my grandma and she said that she’s so lonely and no one comes visits her and that she just sits at home and does nothing. She’s barely been eating. She says she “forgets” to eat. She then mentioned to my dad that she still can’t figure out her cell phone. He told her that all she had to do if she had questions was to come over or to call me and I’d help her. Which every time I’ve ever went to her house I always always alwayssssss told her on my way out if she ever needed anything to text or call me. But she said she wasn’t going to bother me because ive “had an attitude problem” and all I do is “cuss her out under my breath”. Which is all a lie. That’s what my stepmom was arguing to my dad about. She was sticking up for me and telling my dad that he knows that’s all a lie.

So in a matter of two weeks she has called me a drunk with an attitude problem and that I cuss her out. I was so upset. I’ve literally bent over backwards for this woman in the past months. Doing anything and everything for her. My dad and his brothers all have no license due to medical conditions so they really can’t go and check on her. My cousins all live out of the city and my brother and sister live out of state. So I do a lot for her. But I’ve been so upset about what she said that I stopped talking to her.

My best friend says I’m being an ass hole because she’s just an old lonely woman and she needs company. But why would I go and see someone who literally smiles to my face but talks shit about me to my father behind my back? I said fuck that and haven’t talked to her in almost 2 weeks.

Sorry this was so long. I had to include all this to make my point 😩

AITAH?