I genuinely don’t know if what I’m expecting in this situation is ridiculous or not, so to Reddit I turn. TLDR; at the bottom.

Backstory:

I (20sF) was recently (like last couple of days) was assaulted by my ex. It’s a long story, but basically he came to my house, refused to leave for the night, and did it in my sleep.

The issue I’m struggling with is that this was all after an unwanted abortion last month (please no comments, I’m already struggling enough) with my (20sM) partner, let’s call him A. We had started to rekindle things between us after the traumatic experience of not having our baby recently.

However, A has been at his sisters house for two weeks watching her dog. They have a.. rough relationship. She’s much older than him and honestly uses him. She expects him to watch her dog who is very disabled, care for the house, clean, go way out of his way on his work commute from there, all while not paying him outside of leaving him £200 for groceries and necessities. Every time she comes back, she constantly points out things he didn’t do well enough, how he failed in some way. He allows this because they’re Eastern European and family is very close + the fact that she let him live with her for a few years when he was underage and first moved to the country we currently live in, a fact that she always hangs over his head to make him feel guilty.

Let me be clear, I hate is sister. In my perfect world he would cut her off and never speak to her again. This has been an issue pretty much always between us, especially as when I first found out I was pregnant, he had to leave the next day to take care of the damn dog. I spent the first week completely alone while trying to wrap my head around the fact I was going to have a child. He apologised so much for this and assured me that after watching her dog for Easter (now) which he’d already committed to, it wouldn’t happen again.

After the assault I came to stay at his place because I no longer felt safe at mine, and he was supposed to come back this evening. He spent all day waiting for his sister to come back and just now let me know he’ll be staying through tomorrow for an Easter party she’s having. Apparently she guilt tripped him so hard, even saying that choosing to spend the day with me over his only family ‘is a sin’.

I’ve really been struggling since the assault, but I’ve been trying to hold it together because I have to finish some work stuff and can’t afford to not be okay. I was really looking forward to him being back so I could have some cuddles and comfort, especially after today as I had a therapy appointment where I basically relived everything.

Here’s where I’m worried I may be the AH: I’ve decided to pack up my things and just go back to my place because if I’m going to be alone and hurting, at least I can do it in my space, even if it was made less safe for me because of the assault. I plan on texting him when I’m back to mine telling him that this has happened twice now during very critical times and that I want him to cut his sister off or else I’m done. I worry I’m the AH because again, his family is Eastern European and I know that if he does choose me over his sister, it’s going to cause huge issues in his entire family. (To be noted, I’m an American but all my ex’s have been central/Eastern European so I’m very familiar with the family dynamics).

So AITAH for just leaving and telling him to cut his sister off?

TLDR; I was assaulted by my ex after an unwanted abortion with my partner at the time. He’s now chosen to stay at his sisters for an Easter party instead of being with me. I’m thinking about telling him to either cut her out or I’m done.