My ex-friend was planning her wedding and said she was stressed, so I offered help—errands, calls, anything to ease the load; she asked for no help from me. My friend J and I were in the bridal party. From the start, the bride constantly changed the wedding date and dress/shoe choices, to the point where J and I didn’t even know the actual date. Still, we stayed involved—suggesting vendors, sending options, and staying quiet through every change out of respect for her big day.

In the middle of this, I went on a vacation I’d planned, then jumped straight into preparing for a pageant I’d dreamed of. It was a lot alongside two jobs and other commitments, but I stayed as involved as I could. J helped me keep up with wedding updates.

Then, on a key day during my pageant journey, the bride messaged me saying I was out of the bridal party because she felt I had too much going on. Her tone was cold—like a message to a coworker, not a friend of 10 years. What really hurt was that she gave J the option to stay, but didn’t give me the same courtesy. I lied and said I’d already bought the dress, and only then was I allowed to stay. Yes I was a bit upset, said nothing to avoid drama because I know I would get over it; especially since it’s not my wedding.

Soon after, she randomly changed the shoes to silver heels. I had already ordered a silver pair for the pageant and didn’t want to spend more money. J relayed this to her, and the bride asked to see them; she said “these were not the shoes I gave the ok on”. After I explained they were for the pageant, she said they were fine. Still, I felt frustrated—especially because I was financially strained and doing my best.

The Sunday before my birthday, I got a long message from her attacking me—calling me childish, saying I downplayed her feelings when it came to , and unknowingly admitting she removed me from the bridal party because she didn’t want my pageant to affect her wedding, also saying I didn’t communicate when J was saying and doing things on my behalf and there wasn’t anything to really communicate. She also said friends ruin everything and I should’ve spoken up if I had an issue—though I never expressed any.

I told her I was upset—not because of the pageant, but because of her tone, the assumptions she made, and how she turned a non-issue into drama. She replied with a voice note full of screaming in the most visceral tone I’ve ever heard while still attacking me and crying, which she deleted after, then messaged “my points were valid, have a good day.”

I had already listened to the message and so did J. That was my last straw; I told her I’ve never spoken to anyone like that no matter what and I blocked her. This wasn’t the first time she acted like this throughout our friendship, and at this point, there’s no apology that could fix it. I’ve chosen peace, and I’m done excusing hurtful behavior just because someone is “stressed.”

I just want honest opinions