I (27F) have been in a relationship with my bf (29M) for 16 months, we met over a dating app. Early on he told me that he was living with two other people, L (31M) and P (30F). I quickly realised that my boyfriend and P had a very, let’s call it close relationship to each other. 4 months into the relationship I asked if something had happened between them and bf told me there used to be feelings. I appreciated the honesty and didn’t think more of it. That was until 6 months into the relationship I went to visit (I study in a different country than I’m from, and go home to work during holidays) and I had a very strong feeling that something wasn’t right. I brushed it off as nothing and went back home. I asked him about it a week later and he then told me that they had slept together prior to us meeting.

My initial reaction was a depression that I still have. I struggle to find words for how I’m feeling I guess? Cause I haven’t been able to put words on it yet and this happened a while ago. I am so in love with my partner, but I also have major trust issues (something he was aware of and himself been through the process of making me trust him).

It’s now been 8 months since I found out the truth and we’re still together, my mental health has taken a huge space in our relationship. I refuse to go to his house, I’m still uncomfortable when they hang out and I’ve taken myself out of the situation of ever hanging out with both of them.

I also do not have any problems with P as a person, I actually quite like her as a person. I just don’t like that they still have a relationship to each other, mostly because of the lying for months about it.

I’d also like to clarify that if he had told me when we were dating I wouldn’t have cared that much. It’s more that it was 7 months into the relationship and I had to ask him about it, twice.

AITAH for still feeling like this after all this time?

(Info: I have had mental health issues since I was a teenager but never been this low for this long before.)