I'm invited at 2 parties at the same time, same friday night and I have a soft spot for one more than the other.

However, I'm already feeling bad and already having an headache at the idea of declining the offer for one of the two.

-insert the Hayao Miyazaki meme Pic where he is like tired with life-

Party #1 is a triple-birthday night where we are going to the restaurant. They all decided (without my consent) that it would be like everybody put like 15€ and we all buy one "expensive" gift. So there is like 3 secret group chats where they all deciding what we are going to buy for each friend. I just hate this system and feel bad for declining because it's a small friends group (we are 6) so if I decide to bring my own gift it would be seen as "not cool" or idk.So I will be participating to the gifts even if I'm not a fan. Another small problem is that one of them is living far away and will be only there for one night and then they are leaving for a Corsica road trip. The party is located where I work, but I live one-hour train ride from there. Meaning that I have to sleep at my friend's house and come back home the next morning very early (before 8am) because of the roadtrip. This party is stressing me financially as I started a new job so I don't have a lot of money to handle 3 gifts at the same time + restaurant bill.

Party #2 is another birthday. The birthday girl is one of my hometown closest friends that recently became a mother. I only see her every 6 months because she is very busy between her family and work. The party is at her house, it is supposed to be a chill party with a small amount of friends. Also, it is in my hometown so it means that after the party, I will be sleeping in my own bed and could rest as much as I want the next day. (I wake up at 5am in the mornings because of work, I want to sleep on Saturdays)

No surprises. I'm slightly biased. I guess it's one of the problems of being an extravert. Many friend groups, many birthdays.

What can I do? My people-pleasing being is stressed af. It's not the end of the world but I don't know what is the best mindset to set myself to. What should I do and what should I say to Party #1 without them being mad at me for preferring partying in my hometown than with them ? Am I an a*hole?