I am going to try to not write a book, but I want to give some context. And please do not share this. It’s a rather sensitive situation. Thank you!

It’s involving my brother. He has struggled with drug addiction since he was 15. (Hard drugs like heroine and meth.) He is now 34. Our parents kicked him out of the house as soon as he was a legal adult due to the fact he would bring drugs into the house, he stole money from them, broke into their liquor cabinet, wouldn’t do anything they asked like normal chores, he would sneak out, etc. He also got very verbally aggressive with our mother. After that he was in and out of friend’s/relative’s houses, and random people he would meet in rehab facilities. It was always the same. At first he’d appreciate these people taking him in. They’d even help him get a job. Then he’d be right back to stealing, getting high, not going to work, getting aggressive with the people he lived with, and they had no choice but to remove him. Some even had to call the cops to get him out.

Regardless of all that we have continued to support him where we could. My mother held onto his belongings until he had a permanent place of his own to keep them. We visited him in jail. I would tell him that I believed in him, when he said he was finally going to get sober. We never discouraged him. When he showed signs of really improving, parents slowly let him back into their lives. Inviting him over for holidays and whatnot. Things would be looking up. Then they’d take a turn for the worse. And each time he relapsed, went to jail, or became homeless, he blamed everyone but himself. He has, time after time, refused to take any responsibility for his actions. Nothing is ever his fault. Yet, as we believed he was only a danger to himself, we continued to hold onto our relationship with him as much as we could.

He got sober for a long stretch recently. He got a job, got a nice girlfriend, and they got a place together. He got all his stuff back that our parents had been keeping safe for him. We had a lot of hope. But this past summer, him and his gf showed up to a cookout at my parent’s, and she had a very black eye. They claimed her nephew accidentally hit her in the face with a pool toy. I didn’t buy it. And I was right not to. This past Thanksgiving, my mother broke the news to me that she found out my brother had been trying to control his gf (not letting her go out with friends without him), they’d fight about it, and he’d end up getting physically violent with her. She had enough, called the cops, they arrested him. He went to some facility. She re-signed the lease in just her name and cut him out of her life.

I too decided I was done. No more answering his calls or texts. No more responding to any messages he might send me over social media. I am cutting him completely out. And my parents have made the same decision. My mom especially. She told his ex gf to keep whatever of his she wants and get rid of the rest. She is done holding his stuff for him. We knew he’d be in for a shock when he got out of the facility. And he was. As soon as he learned he no longer had a girlfriend or home to go to, his mother has cut him off, and he no longer has any personal belongings in his name, he lost his shit. Sent text after text to my mom at all hours of the night this past Friday. Demanding his stuff back, threatening to sue, claiming that his ex was hitting herself in the face and giving herself black eyes. He accused his ex of being a narcissist, called everyone a liar, and that he is a victim.

It’s still non-stop with playing the victim. Just like all the times before.

I found out recently that this isn’t the first time he’s been abusive. Another girl he dated a few years ago, he was attacking her so she locked him out of her house. He proceeded to break her window to get in. So I am not buying that his most recent ex was hitting herself and giving herself black eyes. That is ludicrous.

And this is particularly disturbing. I got on FB Saturday morning. In the middle of the night, my brother had written “people are trying to kill me” then posted a reel of him gagging himself. He aimed his phone camera at himself while proceeding to cry as two of his fingers were shoved down his throat. I don’t know what that was about. (Not the first time he’s claimed people are trying to kill him.) On Sunday my mom told me, in a desperate attempt to get her to talk to him late Friday night, he had told her he took 70 Tylenols because he wanted to kill himself. (She didn’t know until the next morning because she silenced her phone.) I don’t know if that was related? Like he regretted it and was trying to vomit the pills up. But why would you share a video of that? He was extremely upset upon finding out his mother is cutting ties, and he’s not getting his stuff back. He absolutely lost his shit. And it’s terrifying, if I am being honest. I don’t know how bad he’s going to get. He has only been out a week and already he’s harassed our mother, accused everyone of being a narcissists and liars, threatened to kill himself, and got online making a disturbing video of him gagging himself. He’s truly convinced he is innocent and other people have caused him to live this way.

Anyway, he hadn’t contacted me until yesterday. I am not going to respond. I am torn between feeling guilty, a bit nervous, and sad. I am pretty much his absolute last connection with family. I am scared for how he may react when he comes to the realization that I am also done with him. I am sad for the brother he was when we were young, and who he could have been. And guilty because, at the end of the day, he is my little brother. AITAH?