This is my first reddit post and recently I've been going through it with a situation with a long-term best friend. I (32F) met my gay best friend (32M) working on cruise ships. We quickly became completely inseperable, I ended up getting a job in his work after it cruise contracts ended, I move 120 miles from home to his city. We made some amazing memories. The city in question is a nightmare for housing, it's expensive and most places are pretty grim. We came to an agreement that we'd create a space for me in his living room. A council flat with only 1 bedroom. We bought a curtain rail, some cheap curtains, and although it wasn't ideal it did work for most of the time. I decided to start saving for a house deposit after I got a promotion at work meaning I was earning an extra £23K a year. My best friend and flatmate ended up getting a job as cabin crew based out of London so we didn't see each other much. He became distance, and prioritised the friends he went drinking with over me. I had a conversation with him around June last year about how he wasn't making much effort with me and we settled it, and made some plans to go on a city break

Fast forward a few months when I started to look for a house or flat to buy. He wasn't really that invested but he did come to one viewing with me. I found the flat of my dreams and got my offer accepted, it was in Scotland which means you get your date of entry when you're offer is accepted.

I told my best friend and flatmate the date 8 weeks in advance. We never had a formal agreement regarding bills or contract, it was just a case of I'll transfer him £360 every month on the 1st. For context I was living in his living room.

The date grew closer and I went back to my hometown, to my Mom's house as she had got me some stuff for my flat..cutlery, candles, that sort of stuff. Is have an average size five-door estate car. It's a Dacia Sandero, for those who know about cars. My best friend and flatmate had messaged me asking how it was going. I had said that my car was full to the brim. I had no family in his town, or really any friends whom I could rely on to help me store things. This resulted in him going absolutely ballistic. I let him calm down and went to sleep thinking everything would be fine in the morning.

I woke up to a message from him asking me why I had only sent half of the bill money for that month. This was a week before I moved out. I replied and said that as I was moving out halfway through the month, I would be paying him half the bills. We didn't have a formal contract. He wouldn't accept my explanation and went on to continuously harass me for this £180 he wasn't owed. I was truly shocked, we had been all around the world together, I was fully intertwined with his family and even joked that they were my in-laws. After three days of his continuous messaging, which we're getting progressively more aggressive, I conducted a reply to say how shocked I was and again to explain.

I woke up on the first day in the new place to see that he'd blocked me. I was so shocked and upset, a few days later I saw all of his friends blocked me. I reached out to him two weeks later saying about reconciliation. I was hit with a level of anger l never be able to rationalise. (Thank you to anyone reading this far).

He said things like "do you think I'm making it up for the fun of it?!"

"I checked the bank statements and that's what happened, you stayed the month then paid at the end

"Forget the money and the bills I am over it. I don't want to be your friend".

I reached out to him a few weeks after that saying we should meet up and talk. I got no reply and I remained blocked on absolutely every platform you can think of. He ignored me during getting my flat knowing that I had no family in Edinburgh, he didn't message on Christmas, or my birthday, or NYE. He cut me out of his life for four months. It was so beyond hurtful and to learn that there was a rhetoric created painting me out to be an untrustworthy and disingenuous person was so upsetting.

I figured that he'd never contact me again and I started the process of leaving the city and moving back home. I put my flat on the market, managed to get it sold, found accommodation in my hometown, and transferred my job. On my last weekend in Edinburgh his Mum rang me. She told me I couldn't tell him that I'd phoned him. I had actually contacted him a few days prior asking to collect some cookbooks. He ignored it. (This was on my personal phone and he hadn't yet blocked me on WhatsApp on that). He proceeded to block me when I messaged him about the cookbooks. This was in February, and the initial kick off from him was in mid November. His Mom phoned me and told me everything. She told me that he was adamant I owed him money. She said that I should have sent him bank statements. I told her that I had (,I had done this in early December and explained it all very clearly). She told me he'd said some nasty things about me, and that he would get angry and shout at her if she ever brought me up. She told me that he had went onto her phone and tried to block me on it. She told me that all his friends had told me to not make up with me apart from one, and that he had went onto her phone, and read the messages between her and I and got angry again with her.

Fast forward to the night after she contacted me, I get a call on my personal phone from him (I use my work phone as a personal phone, but I do have a personal phone that only works now on WiFi).

He started off by saying "I think you need to take accountability of what you did, and you need to apologise, you ignored me for a week"

He said "let's not talk about the money it's in the past". I said we'll I want to to talk about it

Anyway I want to know, I've signed decided there's no reconciliation to be done here and I've seen a side of this person that I really, really don't like or want near me. I sent him a message explaining everything and he kicked off saying that I'd ambushed him. He lied and said that he didn't say anything nasty about me to his friends. We had a brief reconciliation where we spoke it out for a bit but it felt disingenuous and after a few days of him asking to meet up with me, I decided to be honest and say I was struggling to move on from everything. To which he replied "nor will I take full accountability for everything". Was I the asshole for only transfering half the bill money? He believed I was due to pay him a full month because he rationale was that I didn't pay him up front when I moved in. I had actually paid him twice the month I moved in. Thank you Reddit for getting this far