My bf '33M' and I '39F' have been together for almost a year. When we first got together sex wasn't an issue granted we only saw each other every other week. One of the things about him that made me feel so safe was how disgusted he was by cheating, even on TV, he abhorred it. We moved in together and still sex was far less than frequent. Once in 5 months. I find him wildly attractive and tried all the time, but after being shot down time an again, my self esteem has taken a major hit. His solution was pills. While that worked he never finished and it felt like he couldn't wait for it to be over. He had told me that he was sorry for not meeting my needs. Again hit straight to the ego. We made plans for things to try but he is never in the mood, tired, sick, etc. So we haven't even tried. I made the mistake of asking if he needed to sleep with other women and to my relief he immediately said no. I was hoping that wasn't it, because to me that's the end of the relationship. And I have made allowances he maintains online accounts that he talks to other women on and the deal was if they got him going I was right there no meetups. Now months later, he says he wants to have sex with other people because it will spice up our relationship. I'm honestly devastated. The foundation. That I built my trust on is just decimated. I am a hard no on an open relationship, so he says since I won't compromise that when everything fizzles out and he's tired of being bored with me, we'll go our separate ways. I hear because you won't let me sleep with other people I'm out so you should make the right decision. I feel broken, ugly, worthless, and like the past year and all we've been through doesn't matter. I love him more than anyone knows, I'm willing to explore options but I've really only been given one. What do I do?