Boyfriend 25m almost broke up with me 22f over me checking his Instagram followers. Whats the next step?

My partner and I have been together for around 1.5 years. I caught him sexting a large number of other women in November last year. He claimed that this was not cheating as no physical contact was involved. He emphasized this point again and again: he did not recognise that he did anything wrong as what he did didn't fit his definition of cheating.. He was also upset that I had invaded his privacy and checked his messages: he said that if I invaded his privacy in the future the relationship would be over . I chose to stay and work it out. That incident has made me extra paranoid about his online interactions. I respect his privacy and do not go through his messages (despite there being a strong precedent to do so). I occasionally check if he has followed anyone new on Instagram (this information is available freely on his Instagram profile so it is public information and looking at the following list cannot qualify as an invasion of privacy).

This morning I looked at a profile of a female friend of his. It was listed in his following list which is publically available. I sent her a follow request on Instagram. She messaged him and asked who I was. This prompted him to blow up my phone about invading his privacy again. He then deleted all his social media profiles. I went home from work early to talk to him. He had binge drunk half a bottle of Jagermeister and was extremely upset. He tried to send me away, but when I gave up and decided to leave to chased after me and told me to stay. We then had a prolonged discussion about what happened. He again and again told me that if violated his privacy by looking at his following list. He was upset that I did not trust him and that my paranoia towards his female friends is unfounded and inappropriate. I explained that his past actions have caused this paranoia. I told him I was sorry if what I did made him uncomfortable, but my actions were barely an invasion of his privacy.

He told me the relationship was over, but then went back on this decision and told me he forgives me. He was extremely drunk during the entire interaction.

I understand that these two incidents mirror each other. In the first incident I was upset because I consider what he did to be cheating. He did not agree with my definition of cheating. In the second incident, he was upset because he considered what I did to be an invasion of privacy. I disagree with his definition of privacy.

I'm not really sure what to make of all this. It has been a very long day today and it's difficult to think clearly. AITAH