My bf (25) and I (f29) have a weird history of knowing each other before we dated. Back then we were in serious relationships and worked for the same company- entirely separate departments, but at the time knew each other by saying “hey” or “have a good night”. Years later we ran into each other out of the blue and I was well over my “serious” relationship and he was mostly over his, still going through a younger relationship of communicating with his ex and fighting and so on. Two years of us talking as friends but flirty, now we are together. We’ve been together for two years and I love him immensely. We are extremely different and have lots of different worldly opinions but we understand each other. Aside from that, we’ve been having some differences with sex. I have a high sex drive and I made that clear from the jump. We had so much fun and I introduced him to so many new things because his previous relationships were bland. Our sex life when we are having sex is great! But as of late, we haven’t been having sex as much. We both go through stages of work, personal, mental and financial stress….. who doesn’t? And we respect that of one another and do our best to show up and be supportive.

I am so sick of initiating sex or even giving him head and he turns me down. The last idk six months we only have sex when he wants to. I obviously want to have sex with the man I love so I do. But I’ve turned it down - even when I want it- because I want him to know how I feel when he is constantly turning down my advances. Ive even laid there silent and starfish just to make it more clear. I’ve communicated my feelings and the situation many times. I feel like I have exhausted all options to give him a reality check. I feel like I’m rambling at this point and am not giving every detail. I want romance, I want thought and I don’t want rejection! The rejection part mind boggles me because I get messages on social media from men often and he hates it. I love the control jealousy aspect of that from him. But I make it clear I don’t respond or unfollow/never followed these dudes. I started showing him if I’d get one to make him feel better but that caused tension and I only did it to make him more secure in our relationship but I’ve stopped showing him bc it wasn’t helping me or him. These guys are ignored anyway. IDFK. It feels controlling with everything he does in our relationship and I feel like I’m only trying to keep the peace and get piped down (by him only) and it doesn’t happen on my watch. What the fuck do I do and am I the asshole. Every open to any and all feedback.