Long story short, my wife of about ten years cheated on me. I found out by looking through her phone when she came home drunk one night.

We had just started talking about separation (I wanted to work on things, she didn't) prior to me finding out, which spurred me to look, since it seemed over anyways. I had brought up her AP's name multiple times as someone I had a suspicion about when we talked about separating, saying that I could basically tell he was in love with her when I'd seen him out, despite her sayi g they were just friends.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, we had another talk about the limbo we were in, we decided to see where her feelings might take her with it cut off with him and me working on myself.

The next day she said she was going into work (a day she normally works remote, but since our kids were home she wanted to go in). She did something that was off to me (completed a somewhat complex task we needed to do online) while she was supposed to be driving to work.

I decided to drive by her APs house and saw her car there. I went home and went on about my day. When she got home I confronted her about it. She was basically mad that I did it, that I had the gall to look up his publicly available address, that it felt violating, and that it felt like was stalking her. I said I did what anyone else in my situation with a gut feeling would have done.

AITAH?