I 42f have been with my bf 37m for 2 years he has 2 girls ages 3 and 9. He shares custody with his ex wife. In September he and I moved in together. Usually I stay out of things with him and his ex but recently she has been demanding more money and time from him. He pays his child support pitches in for groceries and he has the girls every week and babysits on extra days. She doesn’t treat him like he’s the dad she treats him as a sitter and bank account. Recently he has started to set boundaries but he still caves to her. I only make suggestions and explain the more he gives the more she asks for. It has been stressing him out which in turn stresses me out. When I bring up that we share a car and her actions also affect me as we are together he gets angry with me and tells me I’m being selfish and this isn’t my business or place. I feel like it is my place since we have to make last minute arrangements to get me to work and pick them up and things like that. The money thing makes it so I end up paying more towards housing expenses. We plan to move to a bigger place and I worry with this trend I am going to end up being over extended. I want to be supportive of him caring for his kids because I was a single mom and understand how important it is for him to be there but at the same time he does everything and when she texts at 10pm that she has an appointment the next day and needs him to get the kids I feel like she could give more notice so I and he are not rushing last minute to work out pick ups and drop offs by 6 am the next morning. I honestly don’t wanna hear I’m a jerk or he’s a jerk I am just looking for advice. I’m trying to be quiet but I’m spending a lot of money and energy because of her and not the kids. For back story it’s my house he moved into so I am ok with all the bills as they were mine alone before and the car was mine before. I am just not ok with the last minute demands and how she talks down to him and tells him he’s a bad dad if he doesn’t. My kids are all adults now. I love him and his kids but I feel I should have some say or input as this is my life too. Can anyone give me advice on what I am or am not doing wrong or right. Should I just be quiet and let him deal with it?