(Wanted to post in /relationship advice but it suggested I go here)

So as the title says, I’m struggling to talk about sex without hurting my partners feelings. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and honestly have an amazing relationship. The only part I am unhappy with is our sex life. I’ve had many sex partners, while he’s only had one fling in his life with no serious partners (not a bad person, just intensely shy. Took me months to break him down lol)

In the past, I brought it up and he explained his deep fear of having a child without it being planned. I understood and sympathized with him. Since we are unsure about our family plans for the future, I figured it be easier for me to start birth control before he snips himself lol! Now, I am 7 months into BC and still no sex.

I want to clarify, we are both happy with each other’s physical appearance. I like to think I’m pretty and I find him attractive. Sex to me, reveals a new level of intimacy between two (or more) people. It’s very important for me to have penetration and feel that type of connection. I brought it up again, and this time he was stressed out about his personal life (busy work, moving into new house, dealing with sick parents) so I tried to calm down and rationalize my thoughts with those facts. I understand he’s going through something and I don’t want to pressure him to have sex when he isn’t ready.

My question is, how do I continue to be with someone who doesn’t match my sex drive? 1 1/2 years with nothing more than blowjobs and fingering. I know for a fact this is not an infidelity or porn issue, but more of an insecure issue on his end. Does anyone have advice on how to soften the blow of telling him I’m unhappy with our sex life? Or should I just stick it out until he finally decides he wants?