A few year ago my parents bought me 25f a brand new car. I’ve really appreciated it sooooo much and it makes my life so much easier. My bf 25m has always had older cars that break down frequently. I never minded loaning my car to him or giving him rides when his car is in the shop.

Fast forward to now… his recent car has died and I’ve been letting him barrow my vehicle until he gets things sorted. Of course I don’t mind because I can take the shuttle to university and everything is walkable.

He asked me if he just could just pay like gas and tolls and just use my car instead of getting his own means of transportation. I thought about it and said no because while it’s okay for right now it’s not fair for me to be car-less because I have a car. Even if he pays, the issue is still that I will no longer have a full time car because he is using it. So essentially I’d have to ask everytime I wanted to use my car which to me doesn’t make sense and it’s not fair to me because it is my car at the end of the day.

I feel very torn because on one hand he has a full time job and is hustling, while I try to finish college. I also have a job it’s just closer to me that I can walk or take the shuttle. I have the more luxurious lifestyle so it kinda makes sense for him to have the car. But it’s also like damn I do not want to be car-less. We plan on getting engaged when I graduate which then we will definitely need another car anyways. So then the issue came up to if he’s using my car now then will he take up my car and I get the new one in the future?? To which he said no he’s give me my car back and he’s get the new one.

I’d like to mention I have minor seizures fits which affects my daily life. I can have a normal life but I just have to be very cautious. Having a vehicle helps me have a safe place to go when no one is around to help. I have very specific triggers, exhaustion and dehydration are my two big ones. Having a car helps me alleviate these things. While it’s a little selfish of me to not want to give my car to him, at the end of the day it’s my car. I told him I’d support him and any way that I can besides just completely giving him my car. Like giving him rides or letting him borrow it from time to time.

He got really upset at me and is not talking to me. I’ve explained to him so many times that it’s just not fair for me to give my car up to him for several reasons. 1.) all these years I’ve had the reliable car and we primarily used my car for everything 2.) we don’t live together so everyday I have to take him to work I have to also do picking up and dropping off 3.) I have frequent doctor visits and medications I need to up keep for obvious reasons 4.) my awesome parents bought this car in support of my college dream in order to help ease things for me ( my parents don’t have much money so buying a brand new car was a extremely large kind gesture ) I have cherished my car ever since and I don’t think my parents would be happy if they knew I wasn’t even driving it anymore. Idk chat am I the asshole ?