hi guys i need some advice so i can feel like im not crazy. my bf (not really boyfriend because we broke up but he’s “trying to win me back”) is a porn addict and he said multiple times this year he would change and get his lust under control. what hurts the most is that he had been texting prostitutes on and after my birthday. he also spent money on cam girls and only fans but hasn’t gotten me a birthday present. recently, i had an abortion and he was there for me (he even entertained the idea of keeping the baby) but he was texting prostitutes the day i had the abortion. this stung the most because i was already going through a lot mentally and the fact he hurt me when i was already down sucks.

now i want you to understand that i’ve been sending him money (on multiple occasions) before and during this whole ordeal because he has needed it and said he would pay me back. i felt bad not to do it because he has also lent me money in the past but for him to ask me for money and also indulge in his addiction feels so wrong. but everytime i say no, he makes me feel guilty and like im a bad person.

the final straw was yesterday, where i was reminded of this one woman he paid £9.99 for a girls only fans account (i guess because she has a big ass) and i said to him “at least pick a girl prettier than me”. sure what i said was rude but i was just hurt. he then proceeds to say “who boosted your ego?” lmao. wow. i guess he would rather lift up this random pornstar that doesn’t care if he lives or dies over his girlfriend of 3 years that helps and loves him.

he called me today to ask if he could borrow money to come back to his parents house (which is where i am for the moment, because university is ending and everyone in my accom had left and his family doesn’t mind me being here and we’re close). he got sooo angry that i said i wouldn’t send him money and tried to guilt trip me by saying i should feel grateful to be here since his family hated his ex girlfriend and wouldn’t let her stay over; funnily enough he cheated on me with this same ex and has recently been emailing her and creating accounts to text her.

i know i sound incredibly stupid but this is like my last straw. am i being unreasonable? everytime im upset at his lusting and cheating he says “we aren’t in a relationship” but i guess that doesn’t count when he needs money from me? i feel so lost, im an international student and his family has made me feel so at home. am i overreacting?

(btw: he owes me over £500 right now)

id appreciate any help! :)