I’m 20 and I got pregnant last year. I still don’t know for sure who the father was. It was either my long-distance ex, who I had been with for three years, or someone I was casually sleeping with behind his back. I hadn’t seen my ex for about three months when I found out I was pregnant, so I’m pretty sure it was the other guy.

That other guy and I talked about getting an abortion, but before it could even happen, I had a miscarriage. It happened a week before I had a trip planned to see my ex. And I still went.

I was going through the miscarriage, still bleeding, still processing everything, and I showed up like everything was fine. He thought I was just on my period. He even went out and bought pads for me. He had no idea what had actually happened or that I had been cheating on him.

We spent three days together. The day after I left, I broke up with him.

At that point, I had already emotionally checked out of the relationship. I had cheated more than once, which I know isn’t right. But once I started dating the guy I had been seeing in secret, I stopped. We’ve been together for over a year now, and he makes me happy.

My ex didn’t find out until much later, and when he did, he didn’t take it well. I denied that it ever happened but he still kept reaching out for months. I told him I didn’t care anymore and that I had moved on. Eventually, he stopped.

That whole period of my life was confusing and messy, and even though it sounds awful, I don’t regret anything. I’m genuinely happy now. But sometimes I do wonder if I’m a bad person for the way everything played out.

Edit: I’m the long-distance ex. I wrote this post from her perspective because I wanted to see how people would actually react to what happened. Everyone around me kind of brushed it off and told me to just move on. Even some of her friends and people in my own life made it seem like it wasn’t that deep. I’m still trying to process everything and hearing real opinions from people who don’t know me has helped more than I expected. Say whatever you feel. I’m listening but I’m not here.

Edit: I’m really enjoying these comments, thank you :) keep it coming 🤗