I’m a 34F married to a 38M. (No children) We’ve been together since 2016, married in 2020. We have a great marriage overall and I don’t really have much to complain about compared to a lot of married couples. With that being said I feel kind of awkward even asking this question. Am I the asshole for not wanting my husband to shower me in comments on my body/appearance?

Earlier this week I told him to chill on his comments that it made me uncomfortable (my love language is not words of affirmation) and that I was more than just my looks. When I deny or shrug the compliments, he replies with comments like ‘you know you’re sexy’, ‘you know you’re beautiful’, ‘you know you’ve got a fine ass’. I told him ‘just because you say it over and over does not make me believe it.’ I know I should be thankful that my husband loves me and finds me attractive, but sometimes it’s just too much. Sometimes he’s too handsy and says, ‘I can’t help that you’re fine as fuck and I want to make love to my wife.’

So later on in the day after I told him to chill, he clapped back by saying, maybe he compliments me all the time so he can get one in return. sigh Okay sure, I could compliment him more on his appearance but I thank him all the time for other things he does for me and the house. Now ever since that afternoon, he will say something and correct himself by saying, ‘Oh wait you don’t want to be complimented. You’ll miss it one day when you don’t hear it.’

Basically, I am more than my looks. I don’t want to feel objectified by my own husband. Is my personality not worthy of a comment? My intelligence? My love?

AITAH?

Edit/add: I’ve never been a very physical touch person because I’ve had some triggers in the past with prior relationships and I guess have suppressed PTSD that I need to overcome.