I don't really know how to explain things, but I have college friends and I cut them off because I felt like maybe I didn’t really belong with them—even though one of them has been my friend since grade 6.

I had enough and stopped talking to them after we did a project. There were four of us friends working on a project at someone’s house. Two of them started working first since there were only two sets of tools. They finished, and then it was my turn along with our other friend. That friend of ours was being taught while they were chatting about life and everything, and there I was, struggling to figure things out because everyone else was busy talking. Another friend of ours had just arrived from school, and they were paired up and talking while I was still doing the project alone. Eventually, my friend finished the project already, but I didn’t—because the instructions given to me by my grade 6 friend were wrong.

We went home even though I wasn’t done yet because it was getting late, and I insisted on just taking all my materials and going home. I felt so alone at that moment and was holding back tears. When I got home, I deactivated all my social media, and after a day or two, I reactivated them just to leave our group chats. It’s been over a week since I last spoke to them, but sometimes our paths still cross at school, and they don't even acknowledge me. That one friend (the one I’ve been friends with since grade 6) still reaches out via chat when she needs favors.

I’ve always been there for them—when they needed help or someone to go with them somewhere. I listened to their rants and life problems. There was a time when one of them was acting off for just a day, and everyone was worried and checking up on her. I also helped them with school stuff and sent them answers when they asked—but when I was the one with problems and needed help, I felt like they didn’t care. That’s why I started holding back from sharing my problems with them or asking for favors. My grandmother passed away the other day, and not a single one of them checked in or said anything. Lol.