The first time I kissed her she froze in place like I had broken her force field and she could do nothing to fight back. Giant red flag from day one.

She wouldn’t let sex happen unless I was in a committed relationship with her, and to my dismay I obliged. Because I genuinely thought we could have a good healthy relationship.

Now we’ve been married for about 2 years and she isn’t what I need sexually. I’m increasingly more frustrated with each encounter. Most of the time I go out of my way to make sure she finishes before me. When I’m ready to get off all I’m offered is the chance to keep pounding away at her in doggy. It’s rare that I’m met with reciprocation, and occasionally she will perform oral to completion or near completion and then I’m offered doggy style to finish. (Which is inherently fine, because she is a submissive, and she likes being fucked.) I’m just tired of the same old routine.

It’s impossible to communicate with her during the act because she takes everything I say as criticism rather than direction. Starts crying and tells me I ruined the mood, or just starts crying rolls over and goes to sleep.

Her argument about sex is that I’m too direct, and I’m not romantic enough. Which I have asked her to explain but she only replies “Romance!”

Today as a bisexual man I played with my own butthole for the first time since we got together. Because I wanted to, and felt the desire to be penetrated which is rare for me. She wanted nothing to do with it and called me disgusting. This wasn’t news to her. She knows who I am, and that I sometimes have that sexual desire. She has seen all of my toys, and it’s never been an issue until I was in the act.

I asked her if she wanted to join me in general so we could play together, but she was completely turned off that I wanted got off with my prostate, and totally rejected me.

I love her very much, but I’m ready to start cheating on her. Should I? Should I not? Am I the asshole for embracing my kinks and sexuality? Is it too much to ask that my spouse not be judgmental, and be engaged and willing to get me off, stepping up and putting in the work for my needs?