My bf (19M) and me (19 nearly 20F) have been going out for 3 years. I work full time, he's still in school. He works for his dad on the weekends looking after a family member with autism. I have been planning my birthday with him for months not coming up with any solid plans but saying thay we'll go for a little trip out and spend some time together and I've just been excited for it because he gets on with my family. My birthday is on Sunday, the day he usually works. Now it didn't cross my kind that he'd technically supposed to be working on my birthday (I should have mentioned before, his job is extremely flexible and sometimes his dad doesn't need him and sometimes he does and they swap days and stuff) it didn't occur to me until he told me today, 3 days before my birthday that oh yeah sorry he just tried to get the day off and couldn't because 'it's kind of my job and he needs me' like I know it's your job but I would've thought you'd have asked him before 3 days before. I have had his birthday in August booked off for 3 months already at my full time job where people also rely on me. Hence why I booked it 3 months in advance. We've booked a holiday this month for July in another state and I payed as a birthday present to him and so I've been scraping by this month because it cost $750 which I know was my decision but I wasn't planning on spending that much it was because the place he wanted was a bit more expensive but I was happy to do it becauseit was perfect and he didn't know that it was more expensive. He doesn't earn as much as me because he's still in school and so obviously I know he can't spend anywhere near that much on me and he's already told me most of my presents won't get here until after my birthday and he was sorry. I said that's fine I don't care about presents as long as I can spend the day with you. But now I've found out that for 3 hours in the middle of the day he's working it just feels like he doesn't care at all and it's really upset me. Because hes also now acting like its not a big deal and hes saying sorry but I know hes only sorry because I'mnot happy. AITA?