📝 My coworker has been given me the silent treatment for months without explanation AITA

By Flat_Curve_9567 • Score: 1 • April 10, 2025 8:26 PM


Reddit, I need help figuring this out. I have never written anything on here, you are my last resort, I have no idea what to think.

For context, I (23F), Danny (19M), Paul (21M) and Theo (22M) have all been recruited last september as apprentices in a carpentry workshop. In my country, we apprentices go to school on certain weeks to pursue education in woodworking alongside our employment in order to get our degree. We four all attend the same school, although not always at the same time and Paul and Danny are in the same class.

At the start of september, Danny stroke us as a very friendly dude. He's coming from the Ivory Coast, has a very strong accent, learned our language two years ago and he stutters very badly, making communication difficult for him. Despite his struggles, the team has seemingly always been respectful of his difficulties and we would always give him the time to finish his sentences without being interrupted and would teach him about our language and culture from time to time.

The atmosphere was great between us four and our managers. Paul and Danny started to get pretty close, always cracking jokes at one another. We all worked together well, were started to build some friendships and we would laugh through the days. Then Danny suddendly backed away from all of us. He stopped eating our meals then stopped coming with us for lunch. He stopped changing in the locker rooms, stopped having coffee or a break in a breakroom with the rest of us. He stopped joking, checking on us, talking to us and saying 'hi' in the morning. He would only ever interact with the managers or would answer, visibly very annoyed, when directly asked something. We thought he was going through something and because we knew he was very secretive we didn't want to push the issue, thinking it would get better. It did, a little. He started to talk to Theo again, when me and Paul weren't present. But for us two, it's like we've never existed at all, and worse because he will avoid to look at us at all cost. Between us and Danny, nothing happened that could explain this. Nothing that I can recall or interpret this way. We, I, might have done something but I can't figure out what.

I'm entirely lost here. I remember Danny being the sweetest man, laughing all the time, giving compliments on everyone's work, tossing ducktape at me everytime he went by, checking my injury for himself when I got hurt on a construction site... He seemed to be growing a lot of confidence around Paul, I once noticed his stutter disminishing when talking to him. He's a damn good worker too, I would take a lot of advice from him. But now he's gone and I miss him and the joy he used to bring to the workshop. At the same time, I'm also very frustrated by his behaviour which is on the edge of disrespectful at times.

Then I remember this one morning. He had stopped talking to us by then but he entered the breakroom and gave me his radiant smile, like nothing was wrong, like he had forgotten he was supposed to dislike me. I never saw it since.

I know Danny has had the thoughest life you can think of. I don't much of it, but he's missing a piece of his ear and has the deep shining eyes of the ones who have had the roughest journeys to flee their country. He's a warrior, and one with scars, no doubt. I don't think I can ever imagine what his thoughts might be like, but maybe you guys can help a little.

Thank you for anyone who might read this (not sure it will ever be read lol) and sorry for the English mistakes you might have encounter.

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