So, here’s the real story. Yes, my 7-year-old son Jonah heard a slur in a tech review video, and yes, he repeated it at school. And yes, I was furious — but not just because of that one incident. That was really just the last straw in a long line of things that had been bothering me for a while.

What Joe’s brother left out was what happened that night. As soon as Jonah said the word, I asked him where he’d heard it. He casually told me it came from a keyboard review channel — one I had already asked Joe to check out. More than once.

That night, Joe and I fought about it. I told him again that he needed to actually pay attention to what Jonah was watching. I told him this wasn’t just about tech videos anymore — this was about parenting. But Joe brushed me off. He always brushes me off.

I was the one who got the call from Jonah’s school. I was the one who had to explain why my son said a slur when I didn’t even know he knew one. And this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. A year earlier, Jonah had been watching violent videos online. I caught it, and we fought about it then too. Joe promised it wouldn’t happen again. But it did.

Joe doesn’t take Jonah to Little League. He doesn’t show up for activities. He works late a lot, but I’m the one covering most of the bills. When he is home, he zones out or cracks open a beer. It’s not like he gets completely drunk — he just doesn’t show up. Not for me. Not for Jonah. And I don’t want Jonah to think that’s what being a father looks like.

After the slur incident, Joe stormed out. He came back the next morning, but we barely spoke. That afternoon, I took Jonah to stay with my parents for the weekend. When I came back, Joe was gone. He’s been crashing at his brother’s or an old college friend’s place. I haven’t heard a word from him. Despite what his brother’s post says, Joe hasn’t tried to talk to me or make things right. Not once.

Meanwhile, Jonah’s been crying. He keeps asking me if I still like him and if Mommy and Daddy will get back together. It’s heartbreaking.

And then I see Joe’s brother turning this into a Reddit post, making it sound like Joe’s just some poor, misunderstood guy who made one mistake. I don’t know if Joe asked him to post it, but I do know Joe hasn’t stopped him. In fact, Joe’s been online a lot lately, posting his side of things. I can’t help but wonder if he’s turning this into content on purpose.

Me? I’m just trying to give my son a safe space. A place where he can eat, sleep, and not feel like he’s the villain in his own life.

So, to everyone who read that post and took Joe’s side — am I really the bad guy here? Or did I just finally say enough is enough?

ok since Joe's brother's post got taken down, here is what he said

My brother Joe had been crashing on my couch after his wife Amanda left him. Their son, Jonah, said the R-word at school. Turns out he learned it from a YouTuber Joe let him watch. Amanda had warned him before, asked him to screen stuff Jonah watched, but Joe always brushed it off. She’d had enough. She packed up and left.

Joe came to me, but he was still acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Still cracking jokes, still shrugging things off. I didn’t know how to talk to him anymore without losing it, so I wrote about it here. Just to let it out. He found the post and left that same night without saying much.

That was a few days ago.

This morning, I got a text from him. Just said, "I’m at a diner. Can we talk?"

I didn’t know what to expect. I was nervous, to be honest. But I went.

He looked rough. Like he hadn’t slept. Hoodie, messy hair, red eyes. We sat down and didn’t say anything for a bit. Then he just said, “I read what you wrote. All of it. I hated you for it. But I think I needed it.”

That hit me. I told him I wasn’t trying to humiliate him. I just didn’t know how to say any of that out loud without it turning into a fight. I was angry, yeah, but mostly I was scared. Watching him lose everything and still act like it didn’t matter just broke something in me.

He told me he’s been thinking about all of it. That maybe he hides behind sarcasm and “it’s not a big deal” because he doesn’t know how to handle things when they are. He admitted that Amanda was right. That Jonah deserves better. That maybe this was the wake-up call he needed.

We cried. Quietly. At a diner booth, over cold coffee.

He’s not coming back to stay here. He found a room he can afford for now. He said he’s going to give Amanda space and look for a therapist. Said he wants to be the kind of dad Jonah can actually rely on. The kind Amanda doesn’t have to protect their son from.

We’re not suddenly fine. This didn’t fix everything. But it was something. And after the last few days, something feels like a hell of a lot.

If you’re holding back on saying something to someone because you think it’ll just explode everything, I get it. But sometimes silence does more damage. And sometimes the person you think won’t hear you actually will.

Thanks for reading. I needed to get this off my chest.