His name was James and I’ve known him since my junior year of high school. When I changed schools, we would call and text. In addition to talking about our hobbies and interests, we’d talk about personal stuff.

We had a mutual friend named Elijah who we knew since our junior year. Three years ago, he passed away due to a heart attack. After his death, I’d talk to James about him, naturally. I also started opening up about other personal things going on in my life because of the impact Elijah’s death had on me and the fact they were happening concurrently. Bullying, my grandmother’s hospitalization, etc.

Then, after one day in June 2022, he went dark. He never reached out and calls and texts went unanswered. Two years later, when I called him, I left him a voicemail asking him what I did wrong.

The next morning, he sent me a long text message explaining why. He said that it was because, ever since Elijah died, I “would bring him up in every conversation we had” and “despite the fact that he told me I should move on, it didn’t register with me.” He also mentioned the other personal things I’d open up about and said it was all exhausting and that I can’t treat my friends like my therapists

He said he had no interest in mending our friendship and would be blocking me on everything.

I don’t think it was fair or kind of him to use Elijah’s death against me. I mean, he was my best friend and he died, of course I’m gonna talk about him in great lengths. Besides, grief is different for everybody. If he had just talked to me about this sooner, I could’ve worked on our friendship. I would’ve been willing. I feel so betrayed and hurt rn…