I tried to post on relationship advice but I was told it may not be the right subreddit so here I am. Sorry if it's not supposed to be here either.

Okay, so this might sound a little petty, and maybe I’m overthinking it, but I just need to get it off my chest. I (28M) have been dating my girlfriend (27F) for about a year and a half. She’s a mediator and works in a pretty professional environment, so she wears business casual style outfits to work—like, really put-together outfits, press-on nails, light makeup, styled hair, etc. And she looks amazing. I’m talking slacks, nice blouses, heeled boots, statement jewelry… she could walk into a courtroom and a magazine shoot on the same day and be equally prepared.

But when she’s not working? Total opposite. She’s all about jeans, oversized hoodies, no makeup, hair in a bun or ponytail, and she literally pops off her press-on nails the second she walks in the door. It’s like she turns into a completely different person once the workday is over. Don’t get me wrong—I love her either way. She’s gorgeous no matter what. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss seeing her all polished and put-together when we’re just hanging out.

I brought it up the other night—super gently—and just asked if she ever felt like dressing up a little outside of work, like maybe even casually “nice” outfits on the weekends. I said I liked seeing her like that and missed it sometimes. She didn’t get mad, but she looked more confused than anything—like she wasn’t sure why it even mattered to me. I don't know how to describe it but it was like her face kind of scrunched up—not in an angry way, more like she was trying to figure out if I was being serious. "I dress up because I have to, not because I want to. Why would I keep doing that when I finally get to relax?" She said she only dresses up for dates or special occasions because those are worth the effort, but for everyday stuff like chilling at home, running errands, or hanging out, she just wants to be comfortable and not worry about how she looks.

I know her job as a mediator can be mentally exhausting at times, and maybe dressing down helps her unwind, but it still bugs me. She’ll put all that effort into how she looks for work and everyone else, but not for just us. It’s not like I need her to look ‘perfect’ every day, but it would be nice to feel like she wants to show up looking her best for me too—not just on dates.

So I don’t know… am I being selfish or shallow for wanting that? I’m not asking her to be someone she’s not, but I also don’t think it’s crazy to miss the “work version” of her sometimes. Is this just one of those things I have to accept, or is it worth having a deeper conversation about? Has anyone else dealt with this kind of dynamic? AITA for feeling this way?

Would love some outside perspective here. Thanks.