I 23M and my gf 25F have been together for over 1 year. We decided to go to a Chinese restaurant in rural japan. She is korean (this will be important). Everything starts normal. We order and are waiting for our food. Eventually, the waitress comes over and speaks to her in mandarin.

This completely sets her into an angry frenzy. She screams. Lashes out. Calls them racist. Records them and calls some discrimination hotline. By the time the food comes, I offer to pay and take it to go. (Big mistake on my part After we left the restaurant, I realized I didn't share her anger because I understood that the waitress was not acting malicious, but out of ignorance.

My girlfriend is really mad at me now. She says i don't care about her and because I'm white, I'll never understand how she feels being discriminated against.

My apologies and genuine willingness to care more for her feelings are lost on her. Am I the asshole? If so, how should I proceed.

TLDR;

Girlfriend is mad i didn't defend her from racism. I need next steps.