So I'm a Gen-X male, raised by both parents that basically "stayed together for the kids". The household, while decent, consisted of my pall mall smoking alcoholic mother fighting with my father every other evening, with a lot of yelling and borderline DV.

I swore that I'd never tolerate that behavior from anyone, and neither would I behave in that manner towards another person.

I've been divorced now almost thirty years due to a spouse that cheated and had horrible conflict resolution skills that included constant haranging, yelling, and general bullying..and I just couldn't bring myself to stay due to the betrayal.

Fast forward to a year ago. I reconnected with a woman I knew in high school. We got along great, but due to my job we worked and lived in separate places. Add to that my younger brother owns a seasonal business that requires my help for and during a specific time period, so I'm pulling double duty. (Apologies for the length, this is for context).

I made her very aware that my free time during this seasonal work is limited, but I would be open and transparent as always, and if she needed me, I'd be a phone call away. I also want to underline that I really really liked her. Alot.

Apparently, she decided to stalk my home multiple times to see if I was being truthful. One particular day, she drove by and saw my pickup still at my house, and decided I was lying and just didn't want to see her. (I had dropped one of the businesses delivery trucks at a shop a few blocks from me for a service, and walked to said shop to retrieve it before I started my work). I told her that I wasn't in a position to argue, and that this kind of accusation was unacceptable. I told her that I would call her when I was done working, because arguing over the phone is not ok. Afterwards, what followed immediately was her calling every ten minutes. So, I turned my phone off.

I'd begun seeing a huge red flag, and decided to tell her that I needed a break. She insisted on coming to my house to "talk things out" at which time I said "no" as I knew I'd be exhausted, and in no state to have a debate.

She showed up anyway, late, and I told her through the door to go home. It was at this point that she pushed the door open, nearly letting both my Bulldogges out and creating a huge scene.

I corralled my dogs, and mustering all the control I had I told her to leave and please not call me or come around until I could figure out what to do or say. I called her the next day to tell her that I couldn't do this anymore. It needed to end. I set a boundary , and told her that she didn't respect my home or personal space. Instead of listening to me-- she continued to push, calling every day, emailing my work, calling my work, emailing me privately, leaving things on my porch, and sending people in for her to drop things off.

I've made it extremely clear that I want no contact, yet again she tried calling me at work on this last Friday.

If I had done this to a woman, I'd be in jail.

I'm just baffled because most women I know and respect understand the word "no" from their perspective. Should I have said it differently?

Ladies....a little perspective?