1.5 years ago I discovered my boyfriend was liking, following, etc a bunch of girls and "gentleman's pages" on social media. Even worse were the gross messages he would send to his friends about these girls, plus endless comments about real girls in our town. Also he sent messages to girls in town that were borderline, but never technically cheating. It completely shattered my trust, because when we met, he went on about how he's "not that type of guy." For me, that's a huge thing and he knew it.

He offered his logins, and I can see he's stopped. He's either very well behaved, or hiding it very well. But I believe he's changed. He wants to rebuild trust, but it's hard. I'm so freaking traumatised from all that, I don't know why. He knows this.

Last month he said he's going out with specifically-mentioned "male acquaintances" and sends photo of them together. Ok fine. Later I spot a photo of him chatting with a girl there. I call him out, fearing he's returned to his old ways. He says it's the girlfriend of one of the guys. Ok, fine. Then he goes on a run with one of those acquaintances. Again, he sends photos of the two, and only mentions his guy acquaintance. But again, I discover that that guy's girlfriend was there. I asked why he didn't tell me about her, he said "oh we just met her on the way, she wasn't there for long." Well, just in case, I check and behold, she was there the ENTIRE time. This is the first time he's ever lied to my face. He never, never lies to me. So this is very suspicious. Why is he suddenly starting to lie, and about this random girl? In my eyes, she's harmless. If he just said she's there, with her literal boyfriend present, there would be no problem. It's his lying that makes me mad. And suspicious. He never lies to me. Why now.

Then she follows him on Instagram. He follows her back. Her and her bikini photos. He knows, due to his past behaviour, that this is a clear boundary for me. He's gone 1 year without following random girls especially with those photos. Why start now? He unfollows, but I didn't ask for that, that doesn't fix it. I believe his explanation that he never saw the photos before he followed. Ok fine. But by this point, this random probably innocent girl is a huge issue, purely because of his suss behaviour around her, and the freaking lies. He knows this is a sensitive topic now. He's fully aware.

Despite knowing that, what does he do? He goes and follows her back on another platform. Why! He knows his following is a huge issue, due to his past. And with all the lies about this specific person... why!

By this point, I've had enough. I drove off on a work trip and haven't talked to him in a day, apart to answer his questions about mundane crap, because I don't know what to say. I'm so angry and I can't understand what he's doing.

Maybe it's me who's the asshole, maybe he's the asshole. I don't want to punish him for something stupid, but I'm so angry. And I need advice on who's an asshole before I say something wrong. Thank you.

EDIT as i want to make this a fair representation, as I'm seeking real answers, not just vindication. I do lose my shit at him when it comes to trust/girls. I'm not necessarily always calm. I'm just so angry at all this.