So some backstory. We have known eachother for a while now and have been dating for a little under a year. And me and her currently live together at my Grandparents house. I went into this relationship knowing that she was mentally ill. That was never a problem for me. TLDR @ bottom.

But as we've been dating, I've come to some realizations. If she for some reason doesn't like a medication prescribed to her, thinking it's doing more harm than good, she will take herself off of it. She used to stop alltogether, but has been able to slowly take herself off as of recent. No matter tho, because this usually ends with her becoming manic.

I have seen her through many manic episodes, and a few things are a constant. She gets mad easily, remembers things wrong, remembers things that didn't happen, and forgets things that did. Now this isn't a huge issue as I know it comes with the mania and her overall conditions. But dare I let her know something she says is legitimetely false or she is misremembering, she goes off on me. She'll remember things that I apparently said and I told her about how that conversation did not happen and the conclusion was as followed. She said that it either did happen and I'm misremembering, or she dreamed it but I'm still somehow in the wrong for saying I didn't say it, comparing it to her gaslighting ex boyfriends.

Now, lets go back to her taking herself off of meds. She says she wants my feedback on things when she talks to me, but if I suggest something that could be a benefit to her, like calling her dr or just waiting a few days for her appoitment so her dr can give her something to help with the mania that will follow, she will again, go off on me. Basically, like a how dare you try and suggest that as I haven't lived in her body so how could I possibly know.

She is also a very soft spoken person at times so I have to say 'what' or 'can you say that again' quite often. She will then either get mad at me or shutdown completely. Neither is favorable as I don't want to hurt her simply because I cannot hear her.

Now lets get to her opinions and how she deals with them. If someone merely exists that has a different opinion than her on something that means anything to her at all, she will go off. She will either yell at the person or continue a very long rant about it with me. And when I say long, I mean a conversation that will somehow last hours. And she is very repedative with the things she complains about yet, complains if I have to have her repeat herself or if I repeat myself, stating again, that it can be compared to her gas lighting ex's.

On top of all of that, I feel like I can't live my life. If I leave the house to go to do something without her, she is obviously depressed at the mere thought of being away from me. If i watch videos near her, she will, alot of the time start talking to me and obviously I put my phone down to listen. And when I think the conversation is over, I pick it back up. Her thought process is all over the place tho, so at any moment she will start talking again and get pissed when she sees I'm on my phone, stating that I'm not listening and that somehow my phone is making some kind of barrier between us.

Now even if I have my phone nowhere near and we are just talking, if I misunderstand her, which is easy to do bc as I said, her thought process is all over the place, she gets mad and says that there is a disconnect between us. And even if I try to ask questions to better understand what she means, she still gets mad. I even brought it up that it seems unfair to get yelled at when I'm not doing anything wrong. She said she wasn't mad at me, just the situation. Ok then, don't yell at me everytime I ask a question maybe.

And then there is the other people problem. She remembers things wrong sometimes or misunderstands others actions and words. She is constantly telling me about shitty drs and shitty friends of hers. About how she is either being used or wildly misunderstood which pisses her off. A good portion of this I can say I have been with her when it happened, and they way she describes it, is near completely wrong. But I don't dare say that to her, lest I want to have an argument where she will use her mental illness diagnosis against me.

I used to think this relationship was easy but I keeo getting berrated for my opinions and just feel like shit. I kind of feel like braking up is the only option I have left. I don't want to do it as I know this will destroy her. What do you guys think of this situation?

TLDR: Mentally ill gf and me live together and there is a huge disconect with no real way if fixing it as her mentall illness somehow trumps every opinion I have. How do I fix this?