I (25M) have a very close friendship with a woman (25F) that has lasted for 2 years. We initially met in many years ago and made out a couple of times, but we lost touch until a few years ago when we reconnected and became really good friends. We see each other almost every week and have deep conversations about life, relationships, and sex.

I have Asperger's, which has made socializing and understanding emotions a bit tricky at times, but through behavioral therapy and years of self-work, I’ve gotten better at navigating these things. I’ve also improved a lot in terms of my self-confidence, physical appearance, and financial situation. I’ve been working out regularly and getting in better shape, and I’ve received compliments from her about my body.

She is very sexually open and has had many partners, while I have always been more reserved. However, recently, I have been exploring my sexuality more, approaching women more confidently, and even visiting a sex worker. When I told her about this, she reacted in a way that surprised me—she asked a lot of questions, engaged in a lot of physical contact with me (even borderline grinding on me at one point), and made comments about how it’s okay to just fulfill our needs.

The next day, she went on a Hinge date and slept with the guy, but the experience wasn't great—he had trouble performing, was a bit rough with her, and overall, she didn’t enjoy it. This timing felt odd to me, like maybe my own sexual experiences triggered something in her.

Over the years, I have felt attraction toward her at times, but I have always respected the boundaries she set. However, I now sense a shift in our dynamic. She used to be the sexually active one while I was the "inexperienced" friend. Now that I am becoming more sexually confident, it seems to make her uncomfortable, and she avoids talking about my experiences in depth. I wonder if she is struggling with the change in our roles or if she sees me differently now.

I plan to bring this up with her and ask if she feels discomfort when I talk about my experiences, making it clear that I respect her boundaries. I also want to be honest about how I sometimes feel attraction toward her but have never acted on it out of respect for our friendship.

At the same time, I feel like if I continue suppressing my feelings and filtering what I say around her, I will end up resenting the dynamic we have. I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I also don’t want to keep suppressing my needs.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How should I navigate this conversation with her? I feel ready but as of even mentioning my feeling may violate her boundaries and ruing out relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.