AITA?? So my roommate, (let’s call her L) started “dating” my bf’s roommate (let’s call him T). To clarify, my bf’s roommate is his best friend. My roommate is not. We get along for the most part, but I wouldn’t really consider her a good friend as I don’t find her to be the nicest person and we’ve had our issues due to that.

My bf is currently deployed so I’ve limited my complaints around this issue. However, he knows how my roommate is and isn’t super hot over the situation but whatever.

Since my bf left for deployment, T and L have gotten very close. L has a German Shepard and her and the dog have pretty much lived at T and my bf’s place. I try not to care too much but I can’t help but feel my “safe space” is no longer that. I know it’s something I need to get over, but I’m just being real here. I have an elderly cat that I used to bring over (to the point where the cat spent a lot of time there as my bf is very obsessed with her). However due to the changes, I don’t feel comfortable bringing her over due to liter+food and it just sounds like a lot. I think on top of this, the fact that T and my bf’s friends love L and think she’s so great adds to my frustration. It makes me feel a bit invisible in my feelings and as if I’m the bad guy for not always wanting to be around her. I’ve been hoping things would change before he came back but so far they haven’t so I’m becoming a bit doubtful of that. She’s made herself very comfortable there: has a key to the place, works remotely there, etc. anyways, when my bf returns, I’m not too thrilled thinking about having to share space with her. Her and I are each going our separate ways this summer with me getting different roommates. I had hoped that meant it would be the end of us spending a lot of time together but currently this doesn’t seem to be the case. In previous situations, on days when I was feeling overwhelmed with her, my bf would offer me to come crash at his place.

T and L have thrown the idea around of the four of us taking a group trip. Who knows if it’ll actually happen but T and my bf are literally BESTIES. I don’t want to come between them but also L’s behavior drives me nuts when I’m around her for too long. T and L are pretty off and on but he’s expressed even if they aren’t “on” when my bf is back, he still wants her around for all the get togethers. I can’t help but inwardly roll my eyes at this. He just doesn’t get how she is. She isn’t the greatest at keeping girl friends so I could see her definitely taking up this offer.

I plan on sharing a little bit more of my feelings with my bf when he’s in a better space but some things I’ve thrown around in my head are maybe taking turns with our pets coming over. Other than that it seems like I need to suck it up and to be completely honest I’m just tired of adapting for her. I’ve dealt with her the past two years and living with her has given me deeper insight to how she is and I know I have a lot of frustration towards that.

To make matters more complicated, L’s step dad just died and I think this adds to her feelings and trying to cope. I feel even worse for feeling upset over this and I know she’s doing whatever she can to get by in her head probably. :/

When he gets back-if she’s still over there just as much I kinda wanna limit the times I go over there.

Wondering…AITA? And if anyone has been in a similar situation and how they managed feeling like this? I know I need to “deal with it” and I’m really trying to handle this maturely but it’s hard when the feelings don’t subside and I don’t want my actions to be directed by them.