I (M22) recently moved back to my hometown for a few months to do an internship at a nearby business. 50 meters down the street from me is my old best friend (also 22M let’s call him Mike) that I haven’t spoken too in over 2 years.

For context this guy mike and I had been best mates for over 15 years. We were into the same sports, same video games, same vices you name it. It was only a matter of time until women got between us.

During Covid we both became friends with this girl (same age as us at the time let’s call her Sarah). Sarah hit on me quite allot at first, I dismissed it as I knew Mike liked her and in my mind if Sarah liked me, and Mike liked her, then we could all just stay friends (naive I know). It went like that for about a year, then one night I slept with Sarah. I didn’t think much of it at the time we both laughed it off and swore not to tell Mike. Another year goes by, they (Mike and Sarah) were dating in secret more or less since she had stopped trying to move on me.

They kept it secret for the exact reason I dismissed Sarah from the beginning, as to not damage the good friendship dynamic our group had at the start. I didn’t actually know they were dating when I had slept with her until they had broken up and Mike opened up to me about it at a party. I told him straight away what had happened between me and Sarah, not to spite him but to be honest with him instantly the moment I had realised what had happened. He wasn’t even mad at me. In fact Sarah was mad she slapped me in the face (she was also at the party). I don’t speak to her not the kind of person I tolerate.

The next few months just complicate things even more. Around the same time Mike and Sarah broke up I got a new girlfriend (same age as us at the time let’s call her Jess). Me and Jess had hooked up a few times over the last year and the summer before we both went back to uni we hit it off. We moved way too fast and committed to long distance when she went on her year abroad, it was a typical young love type deal very intense feelings very short lived. Mike and some of our mutual girl-friends went to visit her abroad a week before I was going to visit her. I was planning to go with them but uni commitments messed up the schedule and they had already booked. Me and Sarah had a big argument the day before my flight and I never took it. It was messy, I went back to my home town on the week I had off uni spent it with my friends from home including Mike and went off to London and tried my best to forget about it.

Another 2 months go by, my now ex Jess is at the Christmas Eve party at the local bar, we speak it’s okay. We both chat and it’s quite emotional, lots of loose ends but it’s clear it’s just not going to work, in hindsight at least. Then Christmas happens, I get ill, I miss a meal with our friend group at Mikes house. Jess stays over at Mike’s house after. She lives far. Mike let me know on text the next day she had stayed on the sofa. I was pissed off at it, really showed my worse side to him. But he forgave me and we celebrated new years together as friends as if I’d never snapped on him.

I then moved back to uni and met someone new myself, then returned home during Easter for my birthday. Mike and Jess were dating, I had to discover that on my birthday, in hindsight I can see how my initial reaction to his honesty about letting her stay over had prevented him from communicating this, also paired with the fact he knew I was beginning dating again.

It was a bad day for me, I didn’t only snap over text I snapped in person, dragging his name through the mud to all of the friend group the moment he left in a drunken rant. I didn’t come back to my hometown for over a year after that.

But now here I am back in my hometown for an internship at a tech company based nearby. All the women in my life, my mum, my sister, my partner have this opinion of me. That I was wronged so badly by my friend I should never give him a chance again. But in truth, when I weigh up the facts I am the bad guy, he isn’t perfect and he certainly crossed a line. But I crossed bigger lines did far worse things. To put it plainly, I slept with his girlfriend while being his best friend, sure I didn’t know but I shouldn’t even of aloud the possibility in the first place. He isn’t dating Jess anymore and it’s been a long time since it all happened.

I move back next month and I don’t really have any other friends here and he lives just 50 meters from my house. I’d really appreciate if people were to weigh in with their thoughts. I can’t be honest with the people closest to me to get the unbiased opinions I want to hear.

Please weigh in your thoughts on whether I should attempt to reconnect with my old friend Mike. Feel free to ask for any more details, as long winded as it may seem there is still more.