So first I want to clarify some things. Yes it was OUR marital home, we bought it after getting married. I didn’t fight so hard for it in the divorce for a few reasons, mostly that she was borderline harassing me about how they needed the house for their “growing family”. I also didn’t want to deal with a longer and more drawn out divorce and it would’ve been if I fought for the house. Yes he bought me out of the house however it really wasn’t much as it was late 2007. Most of it went towards credit card debt anyway. Another thing, when he was paying for my schooling we were still legally married. The divorce didn’t finalize until after i graduated. There was no child support until after I graduated. There was never any alimony. I did live in the house while I was in school and they lived in an apartment. He paid all those bills including hers after she got pregnant. So his finances were tight at the time. The “family” that called weren’t MY relatives. They were my ex’s and his wives relatives. I thought they were family, they’ve since been blocked.

Onto the update. I got off work yesterday to find a few missed calls from my son. When I called him back he tells me that his stepmom has now asked for the money from the check since it was “almost the same amount” they they spent on my college. She said it was obvious Id never “pay my debts” and that i would “just give him (my son) more money anyways” I’m stunned. I’m pissed. I don’t know what has possessed her to think to ask my son for money intended for his family. I tell my son to ignore her and i’ll handle it.

So next I call my ex. It goes straight to voicemail. I try again a few minutes later and it’s the same thing. So I reluctantly call my ex’s wife and she answers immediately. I tell her the three of us (my ex, her, and me) need to meet first thing in the morning to discuss the “debt”. Im thinking this needs to happen in person with all three of us so there’s no confusion. She agrees.

This morning we met at a coffee shop near my ex’s work. As soon as they sit down I say, “So [ex’s wife] want to tell me why you think it’s appropriate to ask my son for money?” My ex looks at her and says, “You asked [our son] for money?”

She starts, on about how she was only asking for the money they’re “owed” and she didn’t ask for more than was on the check. Then she says “For years we struggled due to paying for your school. For years we couldn’t afford a new car, a new house, or a nanny. My kids had to share a room.” She goes on about her “struggles” I started to tune her out because I keep thinking there’s no way she’s this deluded.

It may have been inappropriate but I laughed. I literally took out thousands in credit card debt to keep me and my son afloat while my at the time husband was shacking up with her and PAYING HER BILLS. My ex looks at her and says “What the hell Sarah.”

I added “It’s laughable you think you’re owed anything from while you were a mistress. We were MARRIED when he paid for my schooling, it’s quite literally none of your business how he chose to spend money. You had zero entitlement to his money until you said ‘I do’ and from what I recall that wasn’t until years after the divorce was even finalized. Do not contact me or my son about this money again. You will NEVER see a dime from me.”

She rolls her eyes and gets up to leave. My ex tells her he’s going to stay for a minute. After she’s gone he asks why I didn’t just call him and tell him about what was going on, said he would’ve handled it and that it didn’t have to go this far. I say I did call him, twice actually and this is how we figured out she blocked my number from his phone. So those of you who said she’s just very insecure, you were absolutely correct.

I tell him that she involved his sister, cousin, and his sister in law. That I got several calls and texts from them telling me I should just pay back my “debt” finally. I tell him that she involved the family and then asked our son for money intended for his baby. She’s crossed too many lines. He apologizes and says he’ll make sure she doesn’t bother me about it again. We both leave after that.

My son told me he blocked her number and doesn’t want her at his house until she apologizes. That’s pretty much it for now.