i’ve never used reddit before so i was very shocked to see how many people responded! Thank you all for your help but i wanted to give some more context of our relationship rather then putting him on here in one pocket of time.

so we’ve been dating sense the beginning of freshman year and i am graduating next month. I currently am very proud of our 4 year relationship and i love him so much. Hes everything id ever want. We have the same vaules and both agree on what we want in the future. Hes not lazy but very hardworking and has a job and is a very talented actor. Hes very sweet, romantic and understanding, my parents love him, and hes very extraverted. however he has an issue with being kinda mean. while i will admit im a extremely sensitive person and get upset very easily.

During freshman year when we were 14 he was VERY mean, but i was also very clingy and i would constantly ask for reassurance. He would insult me and blame me for being the reason he was so mean to me, while i would constantly need attention and reassurance from him. During sophomore year he became very stressed with his job, the play and school. He would get annoyed easily and i would get upset when he wouldn’t call me but his business would constantly overlap. During this time he tried to break up with me but he was very upset and was crying the whole time. But i begged him to stay with me. And we eventually worked it out.

For the next 3 years everything has been perfect. and i triley think its because were older now and when we were 14 we acted this way because we were so young. But now he is very patient with me and weve found various ways to solve issues now ans communicate effectively. But i feel like even though hes changed i still struggle with being very clingy and needing reassurance. and i sometimes bring up that time we almost broke up because that time in our relationship has really bothered me. And he isnt perfect so he sometimes has rare moments when he dose something mean. Such as the sushi thing and him saying “my mom is mad at you”.

I know in long term relationships u will always hurt eachother, and no relationship will ever be perfect.

What he did yesterday really hurt me, but i know weve both been really mean to eachother and immature at times. I dont want to break up with him but i also don’t wanna talk to him until he fully apologies like at my doorstep with flowers because i don’t want him to think he can keep getting away with things. i want him to know there are consequences.

Is this normal in long term realtionships? Him being mean is an issue in our relationship but the other 90% of realtionship is very good.

I often thought the reason so many peoples relationships dont last is because they dont learn to forgive and people give up too easily. And people should break up if they are constantly hurting or are incompatible. Is there long term realtionships were they really dont have issues like this?