so i (21F) was at the sports bar last night. when i got there, i didn’t get ID’d. this was about 3:30-ish (i wanted to get there early for good seating), and my friend got there at about 5 and did not get id’d as well. mind you we are in fact both over 21. this bar is near campus, and states at the door “21 after 9pm.” but my friend (20F) tried to come (she was recovering from a fever) but they id’d her at the door at around 7:00 (game started at 8-ish), so she had to walk about 15 minutes back to her dorm as of result. i felt terrible about the sudden rule change (i never came for game days), so i was texting her to make sure she was good and if she needed anything. she sent me a text reading: “i'm ngl ___, im a little hurt by u guys and i think you'd know why yk i just need a little time“

i feel bad about it, but also i question if i should. because on the door, it said 21+ after 9, but the rule changed for game day (we didn’t know about since we walked in no carding) but i can’t help but feel terrible for her walking all the way to hang with us with her recovering fever.

i want to add that when she said “i think you’d know why”, it’s because because she’s already been upset with our friend group as is due to shady things & plans falling short constantly. (granted i cut them off, it has become toxic), but i feel as if she’s wording it as if it’s my fault this happened. i 100% understand why she’s upset, but i feel like she’s blaming me for it and expected me to go above and beyond. she also hung up in my face when i was apologizing profusely over the phone.

she’s someone i truly value as a friend, but i question if she sees it that way. as it feels like i’m being blamed for something i had no idea of, i simply read the door rules. i would’ve never made her walk ill, as she willingly wanted to come on her her own terms. her feelings are absolutely valid, so i don’t know if i would be the asshole for keeping my distance from her after this. misplaced frustration is a huge no go for me, and that’s what this feels like. but please, i could be wrong.

wibtah for distancing myself from her for this?