Throwaway account.

I (33m) have been with my wife (34f) for almost 8 years total, married for almost 2 with dogs but no kids. I love her, she treats me as I would like to be treated, I treat her as well as I can and besides minor things we have never had a big argument where our marriage would be threatened.

We moved into our apartment together after a year and a bit of dating, and from there the feeling of wanting my own place, my own bills and my own responsibilities started setting in again. This also happened in my first and second major relationships, but those break ups unfortunately had ulterior motives behind them, and I had a small drinking issue that has been resolved. This is quite a selfish thought even from my perspective so I put it to the back of my head and tried doing my best to be a great boyfriend to turn into a great husband for my now wife. I also forced myself to dedicate due to the early relationship "playful" gun threats and getting the shit kicked out of me threats I recieved from her father and brother about hurting her by breaking up/cheating/the typical.

Fast forward to now, being married with a house and my desire to be alone is greater than ever. I cant even hold the facade anymore. I don't enjoy being with something or someone 24/7, but as dumb as it sounds I still love my wife. I just no longer want to be responsible for anyone but myself, I dont even want the dogs anymore. I have a potential career upgrade coming and the extra income alone will be more than she currently contributes to the financial side. I recently found out she has about 4x the debt I thought she had, which complicates my desire because I don't want to throw her into financial dispare by seperating and selling the house if she cannot have a similar quality of life.

For reference I am not trying to leave this relationship to start a new one. There is no other potential partner in my sights, I'm not cheating or fooling around with anyone, nor have I in any of my relationships. I just simply want to live alone and be responsible for myself. I don't necessarily want to have sexual relationships either as I'm tired of putting 100% of the effort in that realm. All of my previous relationships, short or long term, were similar. Hand to gland combat suits that need for the same level of input from me.

I don't have any set plans, and I don't want to just jump at this and rip the bandaid off. Once the stress of this career upgrade ends (will not change my desires if I don't get the job) I am going to see a one on one therapist to see if these are rational thoughts. After that, I am going to sit her down and go over everything, then I'll ask her to attend couples therapy. I would pay off her debt prior to seperating, that way when the house is sold she can put her half of the profit properly towards her life. Even if she threatens to take half my pension (fully entitled to) I would still follow through if it were decided today.

Any input or recommendations would be highly appreciated.

TL;DR Want to live alone. Willing to end a marriage to reset and start new on my own.