I (26F) have been friends with "Valerie" (25F) for about 20 years now. She was one of my first friends after moving to a new town and joining elementary school. Fast forward to a few years later we made 2 more friends. We had some amazing school years - we were good at academics and probably the happiest friend group of our class. We all sort of drifted apart after going to college but the love was always there.

Valerie surprised us all last year that she was going to get married to her long time boyfriend. We all knew how determined she was to get into this top B-school and how this guy was kinda pushing her into getting married to him because his parents are getting old and wanted their youngest son to get married before something unfortunate would happen to them. She has asked me for advice in 2020 or 2021 and Valerie was not in a rush to get married so I suggested that she consider her priorities and make this decision for herself because I didn't know the guy at all and if the guy is great, his family's supportive of her academic plans then she can consider it. So after so many years of going back and forth they decided to get married anyway.

When all 3 of us got to know about it we were really happy for her but also a bit concerned because this wasn't her plan. She explained to us that his family's actually great and will stand by her if she still wishes to continue her education. That was kinda relieving to know. So we began planning her wedding and helping her out to pick certain outfits and jewellery.

Recently, Valerie invited me and another friend "Penelope"(25F) who is a doctor, to discuss some more things regarding her wedding ceremonies - outfits and she wanted us to dance ather wedding. She wanted us to do a choreographed number. And who else but me would have done it for free? I'm a trained classical dancer who spent most of her childhood learning to dance. I said I won't be able to devote so much time because I have a very important exam coming up less than 10 days after all the celebrations. I explained to her everything and her reply was - "you have your exam? So you're not dancing at my wedding?"

I said "I'm not going to promise anything but I'll talk to Penelope and others to figure out what can be done. And if it's not possible for me I'll do a solo performance just for you guys"

I was upset that I made her upset but what else could I have done? I was ready to do my own thing but she wanted me to do both. Indian weddings are no joke! The things you gotta do to just please a bridezilla-to-be are just insane!

Now - about what happened last week? You're gonna need a little medical information about me because this is what made me want to cut off contact and never see her face again. I have this condition called hirsutism - and no it isn't because of PCOS or any other condition. Some hormonal imbalances due to stress (career oriented women we are). And I also started getting seizures because of over working for which I have received adequate treatment and I'm okay now. Now, Valerie has no sense of humour tbh. For her, insulting and joking are the same. She knows about my hirsutism. Actually, very few people know about it but I'm sharing it here because of anonymity.

So, my dermatologist appointment was not scheduled for a few days and I really wanted to hang out with both of them. I called in for an early appointment but they couldn't do it because of other appointments on the same day. I tried to ask my friends if they could reschedule but they said that they were both going to be busy the following week. Since they have known about my condition I told them the truth about why I won't be joining them that evening.

I was chilling while they both were discussing things and I was tired after a whole day if studying so I thought I'll watch a movie with my dad. An hour later, I get a video call from Penelope and I saw both of them. I noticed they were still at that cafe together and as I picked up the call they began laughing. I thought maybe there's a joke they couldn't wait to tell me and our other friend, "Becky". Becky didn't join the video call because she was busy.

It was the shortest conversation and probably the last one I ever had with them. Just one line and I knew that I didn't want to be friends with both of them.

Penelope says, "hey! Valerie wanted to see your hair." Took me a second to understand what she meant exactly.

Their cackles continued. I heard bullying, but they heard funny. First of all, I don't even have that much hair since it's not due to an underlying disease. But I have been insecure about my appearance ever since I was a child.

I said, "alright I'm going."

I have a lot going on. Not even my family can understand what's going on but they do everything they can ti help me stay calm.

Valerie never thinks she's in the wrong - for her insulting and roasting someone are the same things. I trusted her with this not only because she's a woman herself but also because we have been friends for so long.

Penelope has been my friend for a long time too. You'd think she's a doctor so she wouldn't do this to you. But she ended up doing it anyway. We have had this cold war since we were 15 just because she got to know that I wanted to become a doctor too. (Which I did btw. Graduated in 2023 and soon going to become a specialist.) I told Valerie and Becky, a long time ago, that Penelope wasn't very happy and did everything in order to manipulate me into not taking up the same field so she'd be able to move ahead without competition. The only reason I was tolerating her taunts and negative comments was because I wanted to still remain friends with Valerie and Becky.

And now, it's just me and Becky. Becky has grown tired of Valerie's entitled behaviour and she has been away for her business degree since 2 years. After I narrated the whole incident to her she confessed that she wasn't going to attend all the events anyway. She said she might attend just one of the many days of events in order to avoid any more negativity.

I was initially confused - at first I thought maybe I overreacted and I should get over it. But it was hard for me to just see this side of theirs. My own friends making fun of my insecurities. Never did I ever think I'll have to experience this. But hey, everything happens for a reason right? At least I'll have no wedding to worry about and focus on my career.

Btw, Valerie did try to apologise by texting -

"I apologise. I didn't know you'd be hurt. It was a joke"

Left it on read and never received a call since then from either of them. It hurt. Not the comments from them but their actions. Took me some time to think about it and I'm considering to not attend her wedding. Unfollowed them on social media. Unfollowed her fiance too.

I was excited to see my best friend get married to the love of her life. Now I'm not sure what to do when she comes home to formally invite my family. What do I do? Should I play it cool and not tell her that I'll be not there? Or should I just lie and say that I'll be there?