I (26f) and my partner (24m) have recently been discussing getting married soon. We’ve been waiting and saving up for some time and decided that it’s time to put things in action. Here comes the dilemma. I have a friend (26f) that I’m still quite close to. We met in elementary school and while we’ve lost touch a few times, we always picked up where we left off. We’ve always discussed being in each others weddings and its become a huge thing in our conversations lately.

This friend has significant financial issues. She lives off welfare and lives at home with her parents still. She hasn’t worked in about 4-5 years and isn’t planning on getting a job anytime soon. She constantly is worried about money and having enough to live pay for her expenses. There’s been times where some friends will have to bail her out or drive her places because she can’t afford the gas.

Weddings are very expensive, especially as a member of the bridal party (I’ve been in 6 and each cost me about $700). And I wouldn’t be comfortable covering her expenses and not my other bridesmaids. And I also don’t want to give up the things I want for my bachelorette/wedding day. I only get to do this once (hopefully) and I want to do it how I want it. I don’t want anything expensive or elaborate (maybe going to a cottage for a weekend for the bachelorette) but this girl worries over anything over $15 and that’s just not realistic for a wedding. I don’t want her to go broke just to be in the wedding party and I don’t want her to feel left out if she can’t participate in the bachelorette, but I’m worried she’ll be upset if I tell her I won’t ask her to be in it.

My other friend suggested giving her the option herself and breaking down the costs before asking but I wouldn’t be planning the bachelorette and wouldn’t have the break down for that. Also that runs the risk of her dropping out last minute and that’s not fair to me and my partner.

So, WIBTA if I don’t ask her to be in my bridal party?