Me and my boyfriend live together on a farm and have been together for 4 years. When I moved in 3 years ago, I brought my Golden retriever and orange cat with me, and last summer he decided to get a Labrador puppy. All 3 pets live in harmony with us.

I make a good amount of money from being a content creator- I make cute/silly videos of our pets. My cat is the “star” of the show technically, due to his obsession with the dogs.

6 months ago, an orange cat showed up in our shed. We started feeding it and gave him a nice setup (heat lamps, bed, heated cat house) because it was winter and we felt bad. No microchip and no luck on the lost and found pet pages. My cat gets very ill when he lives with other cats, we tried about a year ago with a kitten, and he legitimately almost died from stress ($4,000 worth of vet bills). So we knew this stray cat couldn’t live in the house with us.

Now that it’s nicer out, the stray cat we’ve been feeding is outside more, and my cat has been watching him out the windows. He has been showing signs of stress, like pooping outside the litter box, and doing laps around the whole house defending his territory. I asked my boyfriend if I could find the stray cat a home, or take him to a shelter that could, since my cat was stressing out again. He got very upset with me. He let me know he really likes that cat, and it would make him extremely sad to see him go.

I gave up for a few weeks, honoring his feelings. I tried to block the windows with wax paper, but my cat can still smell him, and is still stressed out. It’s harder for me to make videos for my page, since my cat is preoccupied with defending his territory. My boyfriend knows this, but is confused “how a cat could be stressed over a silly little thing”. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. It’s ignorance, not malice. Still frustrating though.

However, my coworker was looking for a cat, and I told him about our stray. He wants him, and I scheduled a vet visit to get him neutered and get his shots, so he could go to his new home. The stray is very friendly and would do better in a real home, and my cat doesn’t need that extra stress too. I’ve made up my mind that this is the best option, but I know my boyfriend will be sad and not understand. He thinks the stray is happy and safe living outside.

So, WIBTAH if I rehomed my boyfriend’s cat?

Edit- I would tell him beforehand. We communicate on this topic frequently, respectfully, but not successfully. He can’t understand my side, and I can’t understand his side.