This one’s a doozy and I’m sure I’ll bounce around as I’m still figuring it out myself but here it goes.

My fiancé (21f) and I (25m) were in a tough financial position about 4 almost 5 months ago and my coworker (41m) and his husband (38m) and their 2 kids (16f) and (14m) offered to let us and our two small dogs move in. We had a discussion prior to moving in about paying $300 a month for rent (at most $500 some months) and splitting the utilities and groceries. We thought we were pretty lucky given our situation so we agreed to move in, with some general rules 1. If you aren’t working, you’re required to clean around the house until you find one, 2. Someone needed to volunteer to cook dinners and my fiancé willingly offered, 3. Don’t try to take control over the house and way he (38m) preferred things cleaned, and 4. No smoking weed in the house.

At first everything was pretty good, I was working a lot of 12 hour overnights and was also working with one of my roommates (38m) and the other roommate (41m) worked during the day also working 12 hours. My fiancé had been job hunting for a few months at that point as well. After about 2 weeks, one of my roommates (41m) got fired from our company and there was starting to be issues between them at home. Somehow my boss got involved in the situation and a divorce started getting thrown back and forth between my roommates. We got drug into the middle after we had gotten off work back in January and needed to go to the house we’re renting and pick up the kids and bring them to his husband (38m) at our branch office.

While me and my fiancé were able to return back into the home, his husband (38m) and the two kids stayed with our boss across town with a request from us to grab the kids a few changes of clothes. The cops got involved and things got pretty tense at home with our other roommate (41m) being suicidal. A few days later my roommates husband and the kids were going to return home under the agreement that our roommate (41m) would move down to the garage since we were occupying the basement room.

During that following week, we had been approached by his husband (38m) to possibly take over half of the lease and other bills so that our roommate (41m) could be removed from the lease. It was going to be $1,500 a month for our half of rent plus half utilities and most of the groceries (I assume because I was making a little more money than him (38m)). We agreed thinking it would be helpful due to the current situation they had going on with trying to figure out if they were going to get divorced or not. We signed the lease, we removed him (41m) and moved on with our day.

Fast forward a few weeks and our contract at work ended and I got laid off, but he (38m) didn’t. I was able to pay rent but due to some ongoing payroll issues, I couldn’t afford all the utilities as well, but I paid most of them. Him and I were pretty decent on communication with bills and amounts owed and if I could pay or not. And at that point I had put in $260 of my food stamps plus an additional $453 into groceries that had disappeared in less than a week because of his kids constantly eating which was a issue on its own. Our roommate (41m) got a new job and was paying him (38m) $1,000 as a form of child support. It wasn’t court ordered or anything like that, but he wasn’t involved in paying any utilities until he offered to cover what I couldn’t that month.

This month, my fiancé and I couldn’t pay our rent even though we got new jobs, we got a 14 day notice from the new landlord which was to be expected. My fiancé and I wouldn’t be getting our first paychecks until the 22nd and 29th and it has to be paid by the 25th, but with training wages between both of us, we won’t have enough to cover the late rent and late fees that were applied ($100 after the 1st and then $5 per day after the 3rd if still late). So our roommate (41m) offered to cover utilities for the time being until we could pay them back, all being tracked on paper by our other roommate (38m).

We started looking into loans and move in specials around town trying to see what options we would have available since it’s been a struggle for us. During our searching, we were getting help from my fiancés cousin (21f) and she would occasionally ask us to take her to the dispensary. She would leave her car at our place and would be here a few days in a row, but would leave at night and come back around noon the next day or so. I had gotten paid once from my new job but it was no more than $28 so I put it into my gas tank to get to and from work and errands. Other than that, I was flat broke with maybe .35 to my name.

Earlier today, my roommate (38m) approached us while we were smoking outside about his partner (41m) watching our locations on Life360 and seeing us at the dispensary a lot. He (41m) was making the assumption we had been getting money and spending it there instead of putting into utilities or back rent according to his partner (38m). I got frustrated because not only did he not ask us himself, but went to someone else and had them come to me, which came across as pretty immature. He was also stating that we were “driving around town wasting gas,” when in reality we were viewing 6 apartments at different complexes in different parts of a few cities that day. There was some other assumptions that were made, but are pretty small compared to some other things that were said.

After a pretty long conversation between his partner 38m) and I, we came to the agreement anything regarding bills or money owed or anything to do with the house would stay between us and our roommate (41m) was no longer involved due to him not being on the lease. My fiancé and I went into our room and had a discussion that led to us sending his partner (38m) a message letting him know we were no longer comfortable being in the group chat for bills or the Life360 circle with our roommate (41m) being in them and that any communication about plans and schedules would be sent directly to him and we would still be respectful and help with kids and dinners until we move on the 25th to reduce as much stress as possible. He (38m) thanked us for letting him know and that was what we thought would be the end of the situation.

However, once our roommate (41m) got home from work, he was coming across as throwing a tantrum. He was stomping on the floor, slamming doors, and overall being pretty passive aggressive. My fiancé and I were trying to go to sleep for work at this point when he decided to text the group chat we already left. He (41m) stated to not worry about taking his kids to school or picking them up from now on, which is his every right, however when I told him we weren’t interested in communicating in that chat anymore with him about anything in the house and that it was between the people on the lease, he threatened to take “legal action” against us for not wanting to directly talking to him and not wanting to entertain his temper tantrum. Which if I’m completely honest, is his go to answer when it comes to EVERYTHING. He’s threatened to go the legal route not only to us and his partner, but also to our old employer who fired him for legitimate reasons by trying to contact clients we were providing security for, to the Vancouver police department, multiple businesses, schools, the list goes on.

So, WIBTAH if I reported him to my landlord for still occupying the residence after they were previously told he wasn’t here anymore?