Okay, context; me (18f) and this friend of mine, let’s call him David, go back about eight months. We used to hang out nearly every day, he graduated from high school early (18m) and didn’t have a ton of friends after graduation, and I’m a senior who can’t stand the people at my school. We started hanging out because we both like cars and would go to car meets together, we would almost exclusively hang out at our local car spotting place. Because it’s relevant to the story I’m extremely gay (short hair, wear men’s clothing) and he’s an engineer for a very well known company here in the US and makes good money, he’s somewhere on the autism spectrum I believe.

This is where his girlfriend comes in, let’s call her Blue. She hung out at the same car spotting place me and David did, they began talking there. I was initially pretty happy for him, seeing as he expressed some loneliness to me early on in our friendship. She didn’t know a ton about cars early on, which was fine because she was receptive to learning I thought, and it was a majority of what me and him nerded-out on.

Within a couple of months into their relationship David and Blue invited me over to his house for the first time, saying it was a big get-together for them. Blue invited her friends over and David hosted, I rolled up to a really nice area and David’s stupidly nice house. What I didn’t know is his parents didn’t speak English. When I had come over I could smell alcohol/vape smoke, I said a greeting in their native language and headed upstairs, all of Blue’s friends were girls and were very drunk. Blue and David were also inebriated, I didn’t know it would be that kind of party. I felt I needed to stay as if anything went south and one of the girls claimed something against David I thought he needed somebody to get on his side. Within 20 minutes they were talking gibberish, I didn’t find it all that entertaining and just scrolled on my phone. Blue, who has admitted to being bi in the past began asking to kiss my cheek in front of her boyfriend David (who was nearly passed out) and joked about giving me a “lap dance,” as other girls tried to touch me. I GTFO of there fairly quickly as I had a girlfriend at the time, I called her and told her what happened. At that point I didn’t know what to think as I theorized that was David’s first time being drunk and I saw what she tried to do in front of him.

I talked with him the next day and reminded him what his girlfriend tried to do with her friends. He kind of dismissed it because we’re “both girls.” Okay, whatever.

From around that point on it seemed I couldn’t hang out with him alone. I would ask if we could have dinner someplace with some other guy friends of mine or just by ourselves like we used to and bailey would always be with him, without him telling me and it would seem like I’m third wheeling. This continued for a couple months, we would hang out less and less at car meets and whatever. At one point I got a distress call from blue’s friends, saying she was really upset and sending it down some twisty roads saying she “didn’t care if she killed herself.” She had ghosted David for some hours. She showed up at the car spotting place making sort of a scene, crying and slamming her door. She didn’t get into her dream ivy school. A little more context, I wasn’t top ten at my school and didn’t get into my dream state school, so I thought we could relate a little.

I sat down next to her as she ignored me, smoking a cigarette and slamming her laptop. I expressed that it sucked that it happened but it isn’t all over and shared the disappointment of not getting into a dream school. She alluded to the fact that she would never have wanted to go to my school because it’s a dumb school. My dad and other people that have gone to that exact school have done extremely well for themselves post college, I was sort of hurt and just left her there with some other people that knew her.

I’ve kept more of an arms length now, other people have expressed that they thought she was dating him just because of David’s money. Me and David held a 5 hour long conversation one night using ChatGPT to interpret tones and behaviors so he could understand better at his request, I thought I was being a good friend. He expressed wanting to break up. The next morning I saw they were hanging out and asked how everything was, he just said “everything is good.” I stopped calling him or responding to calls about his relationship.

Soon enough, he got a bike. Not really any bike but a 1000cc bike as a starter bike with nothing more than a jacket and a helmet, saying they were both getting bikes. He seemed much different from the couple of months ago I met him.

I had some Deja vu last night as they showed up and continued arguing about some boundary crossing in public at the car spotting place. Both were crying and again, this morning they woke up and continued being fine. It’s emotionally draining.

I don’t know how to express it to him that I’m frustrated on the sidelines as he continues doing this. WIBTAH if I stopped being friends with him because of who he’s dating?