HEAVY CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

I would also like to apologize in advance because this is probably hard to understand and ranty. I am insanely tired, but I need to at least post this before I sleep.

I (22F) have a twin sister who is currently going through some pretty rough mental and physical health issues lately. More specifically, she is having issues managing her depression and type I diabetes.

For some very necessary context, my sister had not been taking her insulin properly for about a week. She said she was afraid to use it after a situation wherein she was prepared to commit suicide by overdosing on her insulin. At the last minute, she took the needle out before administering the dose. My initial thought was that she needed to go into inpatient mental health care immediately, but that did not go over well. She had a breakdown and threatened everything from going no contact to suicide if we made her go to a hospital. She had a horrible experience in a mental health crisis center where she was neglected by staff to the point where they were not properly feeding her and the doctors were giving her lower doses of the medications she had already been prescribed. This crisis center was not in the same state we live in currently.

Today, she woke up very early to very alarming symptoms and wanted to go to the hospital. She did not want to go alone so I went with her. When she was given bloodwork, her glucose came back over 400mg/dL, so there was obvious concern. She informed the doctor that she was scared to take the insulin because of the situation last week. The doctor asked to give her insulin and pain medication and she refused both. This was alarming to the doctor and she ended up having a psychiatric nurse talk to my sister. The nurse and her supervisor decided it was necessary for my sister to stay in the facility for her safety.

When they informed her of this decision, she immediately started refusing. Below are some examples of the things she was yelling:

"I will not stay here. I want to leave."

"You (the mental health professionals) will only hurt me."

"Inpatient care is a scam."

"I will fight if you try to force me."

She also began trying to rip out her IV. I had to hold her hand so she would stop trying to remove it.

Overall, it took about 30 minutes of her talking to the doctor, the psychiatric nurse, our mom (over the phone), and I to finally get her to walk over to the mental health section of the ER. It was getting to a point where they were intending to sedate her so I think she realized she didn't really have any other options.

When she did walk over, I was allowed to accompany her. We got into the room and she immediately broke down again. She said the room was similar to the room at the other facility and that she didn't want to be locked in a room with plain white walls. I attempted to comfort her and reassure her that she was safe. This resulted in her lashing out at me. She said she was upset with our mom and I for "letting them do this to [her]" and that we are "just as bad as them." She told me to leave. I confirmed with her that she wanted me to go and offered her the snacks and waters I had in my bag. She refused the snack and told me to leave. I didn't want to upset her more, so I got my things together and stood up when a nurse came in to give her Ativan. She refused saying she didn't want any of their medicine and that they were trying to sedate her. I stayed because of this. I hate to admit this, but I bargained with her by saying I was staying until she got the Ativan put into her IV. I didn't know how else to get her to let them treat her. It did work, though. She gave in and I left when it was administered.

Tonight, our mom and I attempted to visit so we could bring her a bag of clothing and self care essentials. We were only able to drop the bag off, but we were told we could call and ask to speak with her. Our mom called and my sister refused to speak with her. The nurse on staff told our mom to try again after an hour and she was asleep. My mom and I talked and made a game plan to call in the morning to schedule a visit with her for that evening and to try to talk to her then.

Since then, I have been thinking about it and I'm having doubts. I think my sister needs space from our mom and I because she is clearly upset with us for telling her that she needed to stay. I think she needs at least a day to process that. I also know that she is allowed to make calls herself, so when she is ready, I know she can call our mom or I. I just feel like if my mom pushed, she would only retreat from us more.

But I know my mom is deeply worried about my sister. I know she needs to get eyes on her and hear her voice. I know this whole situation is killing her.

With all of this said, WIBTAH if I told my mom to not visit my sister until she reaches out first?