Context: I have a big extended family where we often take turns organizing family gatherings and events. There is one particular aunty (my uncle's wife's sister) who is openly racist towards me. (I'm a mixed-race kid). During gatherings, she has on a few occasions, mock, insult, demean and say hurtful things to me all in the pretext of a joke. I would move away and ignore her as I didn't want to have any public outburst or give her the satisfaction of me looking hurt. These gatherings are often held at other relatives' house.

Last year when my family hosted a gathering, we only invited close/immediate family members. Racist aunty was not invited but my uncle's wife brought her along and she brazenly entered my house to join in the merrymaking. She seemed to behave during the event and did not make any inappropriate remark. I was cold towards her and only entertained the other guests (my close family members). I made a lot of sarcastic remarks loudly about how uninivited people show no social awareness and said aunty appeared uncomfortable.

This year, my family is hosting again and I DREAD that SHE WILL come along (DESPITE US NOT INVITING HER). I have told my parents to inform my uncle's wife NOT to bring alonv anyone else because they should respect us as hosts, and the guestlist we have mandated. But my parents seem to be too accomodating and brushed it off as a trival mattter saying one extra guest won't hurt. I have told them about her being racist but they won't back me up, saying she is an old absent-minded "Karen".

On the day of the gathering, I have a good mind to stand at my door and should she turn up, directly tell her that she is not invited and to leave my residence. I will not bother giving excuses such as "oh we don't have enough food" but I want to tell her directly that no racists are allowed in my house. I see it as drawing bondaries and preserving my own dignity.

I confided my plan to my cousin and she said my plan is rather harsh and other guests may perceive me negatively. WIBTAH if I stuck to my plan?