AITA for feeling resentful about my wife’s expensive birthday request?

Hi all — my wife (29F) and I (31M) live in NYC and are planning for her 30th birthday. She really wants to do the chef’s menu at a Michelin Star restaurant, which runs about $400–$600 per person, not including tip. I said I’d take her, and I did go ahead and book it — but I’ll be honest, I’m feeling some resentment about the whole situation, and I’m not sure if that makes me an AH.

For context, I’ve always done well financially and have been the primary financial support in our relationship for years. We don’t come from families that can help us out, so I’ve covered a lot. My wife has worked hard and recently landed a six-figure job, which I’m really proud of her for. That said, her spending has also increased — lots of shopping and trips (often without me) — and she hasn’t significantly increased her financial contributions to our shared expenses.

When I turned 30 two years ago, she threw a lovely surprise brunch with friends. It was about $100 per person, but I ended up helping cover the tip because she didn’t have the extra funds. I appreciated the gesture and didn’t hold anything against her — I knew her financial situation at the time.

On top of that, I’ve always enjoyed spoiling her — designer clothes, jewelry, etc. — and I never expected anything in return when she didn’t have the means. But now that she does, it’s hard not to notice that she’s never spent more than $1,000 on anything for me, and her idea for my birthday (which is one month before hers) was a $75 tasting menu at a steakhouse.

I get that 30 is a milestone birthday and she wants to go big — but it feels like there’s a lack of self-awareness here, especially considering the financial history of our relationship. I’m wondering if I should say something about how I’m feeling, or just push it down and move on. I don’t want to ruin her celebration, but I also don’t want to quietly build resentment.

AITAH for feeling this way?